DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES

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WEIGHT NO MORE!!! LAUGH IT OFF WITH DIET HUMOR. Daniel Worona

DIET JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!!:

Daniel Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A lifelong compilation of over 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day. Plus-plus thousand's of Woriginal original diet humor sayings, diet puns, diet jokes, diet limericks, diet laughter, diet quotes, diet riddles, obesity humor, obesity jokes, fat jokes and fat humor / humour by Daniel L. Worona.

PLEASE NOTE: "More than 250,000 diet humor sayings" IS NOT A MISPRINT!!!
It is a low-ball figure (I quit counting years ago).

(Quarter of a million = two hundred fifty thousand.) 

 



Daniel L. Worona's LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

 

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.



A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA

 (PEERLESS: without equal; unrivaled.)

I want to share this lifelong collection of more than 250, 000 diet humor sayings with YOU.

(Please read on to find out how.)
You are about to enjoy Daniel Worona's "LAUGH IT OFF" DIET.
(It's a funny way to lose weight.)
WEIGHT LOSS TIP:
(from DIET HUMOR guru: Daniel Worona)

100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise!
How can it get any easier than that?



FUNNY DIET & WEIGHT-LOSS FACTS:

LAUGHING IS HEALTHY.

LAUGHING PROLONGS YOUR LIFE.

(So if you follow my DIET HUMOR Web site, you will live forever.)



 

IF YOU CAN READ THIS… THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!!!

This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for nearly fifteen (15) years.


WELCOME TO THE FATTEST DIET HUMOR COLLECTION IN THE WORLD.


CAUTION: Do not try to devour my entire DIET HUMOR Web site in one sitting.

The Surgeon General has determined that it can cause FUNSTROKE.



 PLEASE NOTE: My DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES are meant to encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle. This is not a "mean" DIET HUMOR website.

PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, rather, my goal is to encourage everyone to live a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!!! 

TO BELITTLE IS TO BE LITTLE.

To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends:

I apologize beforehand if I offend you in any weigh, shape, or form.

Woriginal pun by Daniel L. Worona

(This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona) 



 

OBESITY HUMOR:

CHILDHOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC:

In her fight against childhood obesity, first lady Michelle Obama is urging communities to make fresh produce more available to young people, even in liquor stores. If your kid is hanging out at the liquor store, obesity is the least of your problems.



FUNNY DIET ONE-LINERS:

1. I KEEP TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT IT KEEPS FINDING ME.

 

2. Whether you want to be thick or thin IS A MATTER OF TASTE!!! 
--Daniel Worona.
 
3. THOSE WHO GET TOO BIG FOR THEIR BRITCHES, WILL BE EXPOSED IN THE END.
 
4. Q: WHAT MAKES THE TOWER OF PISA LEAN?
A: IT NEVER EATS.
 
5. THERE ARE TWO THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT BEFORE BREAKFAST: (LUNCH AND DINNER).
 
6. RELISH TODAY. CATCHUP TOMORROW.
 
7. HUMOR BUTTON: CAUTION: HUNGRY DIETER, MAY BITE IF PROVOKED.
 
8. IT'S NOT THE MINUTES SPENT AT THE TABLE THAT PUT ON WEIGHT, IT'S THE SECONDS.
 
9. A DIET IS WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO SOME LENGTH TO CHANGE YOUR WIDTH.
 
10. HOLLYWOOD'S FAVORITE DIET: STARVATION.
 
11. Diet slogan: TAKE CHARGE, DON'T BE LARGE.
--Daniel Worona
 
12. BY THE TIME I'M THIN, FAT WILL BE IN.
 
13. DIETING IS WISHFUL SHRINKING.
 
14. I WAS MEANT TO BE THIN... BUT GOD SEWED ME UP WRONG.
 
15. HOW CAN I GO ON A DIET? THE REFRIGERATOR IS STILL FULL.
 
16. SKINNY PEOPLE TICK ME OFF!!! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my car keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
--SIOUXSIE Q

17. COMPLAINING ABOUT DIETING AND EXERCISE BURNS OFF EXTRA CALORIES.

--Daniel L. Worona

18. Handy dandy dieting tip: CARROT CAKE COUNTS AS A SERVING OF VEGETABLES.

19. Weight-loss tip: SHAKE YOUR SALT HABIT.

 

20. Daniel Worona's hungry monster anti-diet: 
I'VE GOT AN EATING PROBLEM!!!
(I can't get enough!)

--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

 

21. Q: What do you call an overweight monster?

A: OBEAST.


22. WEIGHT LOSS SLOGAN:


"Are you going the wrong weigh?"

Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona


(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)


("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



Woriginal original DIET JOKES & DIET PUNS by Daniel Worona:

 

1. The SUBWAY SANDWICH DIET doesn't work!

I have not eaten anything but one Subway sandwich a day for a month and I've gained twenty-two pounds! Not only that, those six-foot-long Subway sandwiches are really expensive!!!
Woriginal diet joke by Daniel L. Worona

 

2. Q: What do you call a person on a diet who loses twenty-five pounds in just one month?

A: A liar.       

--Daniel Worona

 

3. Diet puns: AMAZING NEW WEIGHT LOSS DISCOVERY!!!
Daniel Worona's famous PIG EAR SOUP DIET.
It is EAR-RESISTIBLE!
(Yummy! It will take you BREADTH away!)

 

4. I saw a poster advertising a lecture  to be given by a world-famous nutritionist on EATING PROBLEMS. I said to myself: HEY, I DON'T NEED THAT. I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM EATING!!
(I do it all the time.)

--Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" (version)

 

5. Diet and Fitness pun:

Some people trade TIT-FOR-TAT;
healthy people trade FIT-FOR-FAT.

(If you sit, you ain't fit.)

Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

 

6. I GAVE UP DESSERTS!!!
(It was the worst twenty minutes of my life.)

Woriginal by Daniel Worona

 

7. Diet Advice by Daniel L. Worona:

When I say: Instead of YO-YO DIETING, try HO-HO DIETING. I am not talking about a steady diet of "HO-HOs and Twinkies." I am talking about HO-HO's as in HA-HA!
--Daniel L. Worona

We all know that Santa invented the "HO-HO DIET", and you should know Daniel L. Worona is the founder of the "HA-HA DIET". Thank you very much.

 

8. Dieters are very "NARROW-MINDED."

--Diet pun by Daniel L. Worona 

 

9. DIET DROPOUTS are "BROAD-MINDED."

--Diet pun by Daniel L. Worona

 

10. Q: Why did the MIDNIGHT SNACKER gain so much weight?

A: Because he couldn’t see how much he was eating.


Diet riddle by Daniel L. Worona “Rara Avis”

 

11. DIET & EXERCISE JOKE:

Two overweight women were walking home from work, and they began talking about their schedule of activities for the evening. "I've got an idea" said one. "Let's flip a coin. If it lands on heads, we'll go get a cheeseburger. If it lands on tails, we'll go to get a pizza. And if it lands on its side, we'll go to the gym to work out.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



OBJECTIVE: I want to publish my inimitable collection so that everyone may enjoy it.
(That means Y-O-U!!!)

 

I am seeking a literary agent and a major publisher who will do justice to my DIET HUMOR, DIET LAUGHS and DIET JOKES collection.



DIET HUMOR, DIET GURU AND WELLNESS EXPERT DANIEL L. WORONA 

EXPERIENCE: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru, obesity expert, wellness expert and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing).  He has been "well taught." His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and diet humorist.



He is looking for a literary agent and major publisher for his collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES.

(Quarter of a million = two hundred fifty thousand.)
 
E-MAIL: You may contact me at: dworona@yahoo.com

(Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread. You've been warned.)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me.

HELP A PUBLISHER-CHALLENGED DIET HUMOR WRITER:

To help a publisher-challenged writer, you may e-mail him at: dworona@yahoo.com.


Dear Copycats:

The phrase “LAUGH IT OFF” existed long before I was born, nearly 70 years ago, however, I (Daniel L. Worona) was the first one to use the phrase LAUGH IT OFF as a “DIET PUN” and a "DIET SLOGAN."

 LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").  
(Online since: June 7, 1999.)

The world's #1 DIET HUMOR Web site for nearly fifteen years: danworona.50megs.com.
It's a SITE to see!!!



NO BALONEY, MAHONEY!
 

HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIETING!!!

GUARANTEED!!!


by Coach Daniel L. Worona


When you follow Daniel Worona's healthy eating lifestyle, weight loss is an automatic side effect.

SIDE EFFECTS:

1. ADIOS LOVE-HANDLES!

2. WHITTLE YOUR MIDDLE!

3. REDUCE YOUR PROFUSE CABOOSE!

You're welcome!


NUTRITION AND FITNESS COACH: DANIEL L. WORONA





 


DIET LAUGH WORKOUT TIME:

1. DIETING IS THE PENALTY FOR LIVING BEYOND YOUR SEAMS.
--Woriginal original byDaniel L. Worona


2. STUDIES SHOW THAT MOST PEOPLE GAIN WEIGHT IN CERTAIN PLACES: LIKE BAKERIES, PIZZA PARLORS, AND ICE CREAM SHOPS.
 

3. WHAT ARE THE FOUR MAJOR FOOD GROUPS?

For CHOCOHOLICS: DARK CHOCOLATE, WHITE CHOCOLATE, BROWNIES and FUDGE.
For HEAVIES: FAT,SALT, SUGAR, and CAFFEINE.
For BACHELORS: FAST, FROZEN, JUNK, and SPOILED.
For DRINKERS: MALT, BARLEY, HOPS, and YEAST.


4. NEVER EAT MORE THAN YOU CAN LIFT. --MISS PIGGY.

5. Sign on the Olympic stadium in China:
STADIUM HOLDS 120,000 CHINESE, OR 80,000 AMERICANS. 

6. Another Daniel Worona diet tip: Do a reality check every once in a while to make sure your goals are realistic.

T-shirt: MY REALITY CHECK BOUNCED!

7. Definition: JUNK PHOOD is unhealthy food "fortified" with pharmaceuticals.



DISCLAIMER!!!  All spelling errors and grammatical errors on this DIET HUMOR Web site are intentional; otherwise they are the fault of the hosting server. 
--Mr. Perfect: Daniel "U KAN'T SPEL" Worona
Excuse me, while I go polish my halo.
REMEMBER!!! In this day and age... SPELLING IS BECOMING A LOSSED ART.

A SILLY VEGETARIANS VEGGIE DITTY (bumper sticker):

GO VEG / VEGAN
B4 IT'S 2L8

(Translation: GO VEGETARIAN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.)



CAN YOU HELP ME FIND A LITERARY AGENT and PUBLISHER, OR OFFER A SUGGESTION? IF SO, PLEASE E-MAIL ME.

Why do I need a publisher?: Because... I COULDN'T SELL A LIFEBOAT ON THE TITANIC, however, I am the foremost DIET HUMOR collector in the world. My area of expertise is collecting DIET HUMOR, not publishing. 

GOT DIET JOKES TO SHARE?

My E-mail address is: dworona@yahoo.com             

Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me.

PLEASE NOTE: I answer ALL e-mails, however, I do NOT do INSTANT MESSAGING.

(Sorry, but all my free time is used for researching DIET HUMOR. Please e-mail me if you have a question or suggestion.)

Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"




This is a 55-year plus collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET LIMERICKS, DIET JOKES, CHOCOLATE HUMOR and related diet humor subjects (too numerous to mention). It includes "tons" of Woriginal original material by diet humorist and diet guru Daniel L. Worona.

A LARGE PORTION OF THIS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION HAS NEVER BEEN PUBLISHED AND/OR IS WORIGINAL ORIGINAL MATERIAL BY DANIEL WORONA.

THIS DIET HUMOR COLLETION WILL EVENTUALLY BE SHARED WITH YOU IN BOOK FORM (as soon as I find a publisher).


WHEN YOU OVERINDULGE, THERE IS A “HEAVY PRICE” TO PAY.
-Woriginal original  by Daniel "WOR" Worona “Rara Avis”


MORE “BUST YOUR GUT “ DIET HUMOR AHEAD. DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.

DIET JOKES GALORE AND MORE FROM THE "WOR"!!! 

1. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards.


2. Diets are for people who are THICK and tired of it.

3. People go to Weight Watchers to learn their LESSENS.
4. I DRIVE WAY TOO FAST TO WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL.
5. THE FAST DIET: If you are thin, don't eat fast. If you are fat, don't eat-- FAST!!!
6. The best way to lose weight is by skipping... skip the desserts... skip the snacks... skip the beer... skip the SKIPPY.  --Daniel Worona (version)

7. DIET JOKE: Try my wife's new recipe for diet meatloaf... Don't worry, you won't eat much.
.
8. GRAVITY BRINGS ME DOWN.

9. ONE SHOULD EAT TO LIVE NOT LIVE TO EAT.
10. THOU SHALT NOT WEIGH MORE THAN THY REFRIGERATOR.
11. GOD MUST LOVE CALORIES BECAUSE HE MADE SO MANY OF THEM!
12. LIFE IS FULL OF UPS AND POUNDS.
13. HAVING A PERFECT BODY ISN'T DIFFICULT... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
14. THE HAIGHT DIET: TO LOSE WEIGHT JUST EAT THE STUFF YOU HATE.  --DR. HAIGHT (D. WORONA)
15. DIETING IS THE PENALTY FOR EXCEEDING THE FEED LIMIT.


DIET AND FOOD RIDDLE:

Q: WHO KEEPS TRACK OF THE COOKIES WE EAT?

A: THE KITCHEN COUNTER.



BEST OBESITY IS A DISEASE JOKE EVER:

NEWS FLASH: The AMA declares: Obesity is a disease.

SKINNY DUDES WARNING!!!

Don't kiss any fat girls, you might catch obesity!


OBESITY IS A DISEASE WORDPLAY:

Obesity is very easy to catch.

--They can't run very fast.

WORIGINAL PUN by DANIEL L. WORONA



DIET HUMOR AND WELLNESS EXPERT DANIEL L. WORONA 

He has "searched the world" for more than 55-years for diet humor, diet ditties, diet limericks, weight-loss humor, fat humor / humour and diet slang. Daniel Worona has thousand's of original and unpublished diet humor sayings, diet cartoons,  and  diet word plays.

Experience: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and diet humorist.

NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR COLLECTION.


This is the FATTEST and best diet humor collection in the world!!!

He is looking for a literary agent and major publisher for his collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES.

(Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, othwise it will be deleted and unread.)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.



DANIEL WORONA "HONEST DAN" is also a bit of a philosopher. His nearly 70 years of wisdom can be boiled down to one sentence: Boys and girls, always.... (Sorry, it's a secret. But for you truth seekers, I will reveal the secret later on in this DIET HUMOR website.)

Woriginal original by DANIEL WORONA

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)


WARNING:  When viewing this DIET HUMOR Web site, the diet police are watching you!!!
FEED LIMIT 65
(calories per hour)
MORE LAUGH OUT LOUD, CHOKE ON YOUR COFFEE DIET HUMOR AHEAD.    

 


I'VE GOT THE PROBLEM LICKED.

WINNING AND THINNING with Daniel Worona's world-famous LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

This has been THE NUMBER ONE (#1) DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKE website in the world for nearly fifteen (15) years.
A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA

(PEERLESS: without equal; unrivaled.)
SKILLS AND EDUCATION: Besides being a diet guru, and a wellness expert; Daniel Worona is an ethnologist, having spent more than 55-years studying various cultures. He is a retired physical education school teacher and has several degrees in computer science. He is bilingual and has spent more than fifty-five years collecting MEXICAN FOLKLORE HUMOR (HUMOR FOLKLORICO DE MEXICO). Actually, he is multilingual, speaking more than ten languages, but that is a long, funny story. He has published two books on MEXICAN FOLKLORE HUMOR:

1. VERSITOS CHISTOSOS DE OAXACA
Compiled by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis"
ISBN: 0-915311-00-3
2.
2. FOLKLORE CHISTOSO DE MEXICO
Compiled by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis"
ISBN: 0-915311-01-1.
The Problem with Speaking English:

Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.


HOORAY FOR ME!!! I now have compiled more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR sayings, DIET JOKES, OBESITY HUMOR sayings, OBESITY JOKES, FAT HUMOR and FAT JOKES. 

PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, rather, my goal is to encourage everyone to live a healthy lifestyle.

Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, obesity and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!!


BOO HOO HOO!: I do not have a single friend (not even a married one) in the publishing industry or the media to help me get published. Can you help me, or offer a suggestion?

WORD OF MOUTH: Please tell your friends about my 55-year plus collection of DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES. Sooner or later there will be a publisher with enough brains to figure out I have a priceless collection of DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES.

CAN YOU HELP ME FIND A  MAJOR PUBLISHER OR OFFER A SUGGESTION? If so, please e-mail me.



FUNNY DIET ONE-LINERS:

 

1.CHOCOLATE. COFFEE. MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

 

2. IF YOU HAVE NO TASTE, A LOT OF FOOD GOES TO WASTE; BUT IF YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TASTE, A LOT OF IT WILL GO TO WAIST.
--Woriginal original by Daniel Worona

 

3. Sign in a gym: GET YOUR REAR IN GEAR!

 

4. T-shirt: INSTANT HUMAN (just add coffee).

 

5. DIET IS SOMETHING THAT TAKES THE STARCH OUT OF YOU.

 

6. I'M ON A GRAPEFRUIT DIET. I EAT EVERYTHING BUT GRAPEFRUIT.

 

7. LIFE WITHOUT PIZZA IS NO LIFE AT ALL.
 

8. BRAIN CELLS COME AND BRAIN CELLS GO, BUT FAT CELLS LAST FOREVER.
 

9. I DON'T HAVE AN EATING PROBLEM.
I EAT. I GET FAT. I BUY NEW CLOTHES.
NO PROBLEMO!


10. LORD, IF I CAN'T BE SKINNY, PLEASE MAKE ALL MY FRIENDS FAT!

 

11. THE NUMBER ONE CAUSE OF PEOPLE FALLING OFF THEIR DIETS IS FOOD.

 

12. A MOMENT ON THE LIPS, FOREVER ON THE HIPS.

 

13. DIETING IS MIND OVER PLATTER.

 

14. LIFE IS UNCERTAIN. EAT DESSERT FIRST.
 

15. No BODY is perfect.
 

16. Sign on the side of a pizza delivery truck:

THE SLICE MAN COMETH.



THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST BIG FAT WOLF JOKE:

As the Big Bad Fat Wolf said: Not by the hair on my chinny chin chins.



THE FATTEST DIET HUMOR COLLECTION IN THE WORLD!!!

(I want to share it with Y-O-U!!!)

CAN YOU HELP A PUBLISHER-CHALLENGED WRITER???

 

If you can help me find a publisher or offer a positive suggestion, please contact me at: dworona@yahoo.com 


Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me.

Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.



"WOR" IS COMING!!! 

Experience: Daniel "WOR" Worona is a diet guru, obesity and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). He has been "well taught." His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and diet humorist.


This is DIET HUMOR. Please do not take it personally. If you do... you need to LIGHTEN UP!!
(Get it?)  --Daniel Worona "Rara Avis"

SILLY DIET ONE LINERS:

 

1. THE WORLD IS DIVIDED INTO PEOPLE WHO LIVE TO EAT AND THOSE WHO EAT TO LIVE.

 


2. EAT THRIVO TO STAY ALIVE-O. (IT MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT ON YOUR THIGHS.)

 


3. EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU SURE THIS SCALE IS IN POUNDS AND NOT IN OUNCES?

 


4. STOP CONGRATULATING ME. I HAVEN'T PUT MY OTHER FOOT ON THE SCALE YET.  (Weight Watchers ditty.)

 


5. YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT BY TALKING ABOUT IT. YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

 


6. DIET TONGUE TWISTER: A GOOD COOK COULD COOK AS MUCH COOKIES AS A GOOD COOK WHO COULD COOK COOKIES.

7. FAT IS NOT A MORAL PROBLEM. IT IS AN ORAL PROBLEM.



HEALTH JOKE:
Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW CARROTS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR EYES?
A: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RABBIT WEARING GLASSES?



Please check out  the rest of this DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES website, and you will learn THE GREATEST WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET OF ALL TIME!!!!!


 

On MY FAVORITES LINKS page you will find the number one diet in the world (in the upper left corner at the top of the page). It is not perfect, but almost. (HINT: It was developed by Uncle Sam with your tax dollars.)


AMAZING DIET DISCOVERY:
FINALLY!!! NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT THREE BUT FOUR DIETS THAT REALLY WORK!!!!

You will find them on my DIET HUMOR SOS page on this Web site. 

1. One is called THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET.

2.The second one is called Daniel Worona's CHICKEN DINNER DIET.  (You can eat all you want and lose weight!!!)

3. The third one is called Daniel Worona's FAT-FREE DIET.

 

4. The sensational "NEW DIET." It is the "NEW" way to lose weight. 
Eat to your heart's content. No problemo.

 

You will find all four of these diets on my DIET HUMOR SOS page on this Web site.

I GUARANTEE THAT THEY WORK!!!

 

Have I ever lied to you before? Daniel L. Worona



A KILLER DIET: You will thoroughly enjoy "THE ELVIS DIET"!!! , and THE NO DIET DIET.
Can you guess on which webpage they are on?



FUNNY DIET QUIPS, QUOTES AND JOKES

 

1. LABELS: THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE REQUIRING NEW FOOD LABELS THAT ARE MORE SPECIFIC. PRODUCTS WILL NOW BE LABELED: NO FAT; LOW FAT; REDUCED FAT; AND FAT, BUT GREAT PERSONALITY.


2. I'M ON A LOW-FAT, HIGH STRESS DIET .... COFFEE AND FINGERNAILS.


3. HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE GARLIC DIET?
YOU DON'T LOSE MUCH WEIGHT, BUT FROM A DISTANCE YOUR FRIENDS THINK YOU LOOK THINNER.


4. DON'T DIG YOUR GRAVE WITH YOUR OWN KNIFE AND FORK.
-  English proverb


DANIEL WORONA'S "LAUGH IT OFF" DIET: DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES,  DIET PUNS, DIET QUOTES, DIET LAUGHS, DIET LIMERICKS, OBESITY HUMOUR, WEIGHT LOSS HUMOR, FUNNY DIET RIDDLES, DIET DITTIES and so on compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis."

This is a 55-year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been published.
IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION! 
(I am seeking a literary agent and a major publisher.)

PCoolLCoolECoolACoolSCoolE       HCoolECoolLCoolP      MCoolE!!!

.........................................................................................

PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND A PUBLISHER.

THE CHRISTMAS DIET SONG:

'Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash tore open the icebox then threw up the sash. The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear: a marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer! That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

The sweet-coated Santa, those sugared reindeer I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear; On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS a Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

From the top of the scales to the top of the hall now dash away pounds now dash away all. Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress my clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly they shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly. I spoke not a word but went straight to my work ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned. I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry if temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night in the morning I'll starve . . . 'til I take that first bite.

COOKING HUMOR: I'M NOT A BAD COOK, I AM MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
Diet guru Daniel Worona says:
SKINNIER THIGHS
WHEN YOU EXERCISE.
Q: Does Daniel Worona lie?

A: Only when I'm sleeping.



AND DON'T FORGET: DIETING IS NO PIECE OF CAKE!!!
Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

Send me a FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS JOKE and you will lose weight instantly.

Don't believe me? Try it!!!

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

Please include the words "DIET HUMOR"or "WEIGHT LOSS JOKE" in the Subject line, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.



(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)


(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)



THANK YOU VERY MUCH: I thank all the kind people out there in cyberspace who have been giving me credit when when they use material from this DIET HUMOR Web site.

Daniel Worona "RareBird"




LEGAL NOTICE:


NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

 

Thank you very much,

 

Daniel L. Worona



Image credit of overweight man on scale: Freedomyou.com
Many DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET JOKES and MOTIVATIONAL DIET SAYINGS are "hidden" throughout this Web site. MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WHOLE PAGE!!!
MOTIVATIONAL & INSPIRATIONAL DIET SAYINGS:

With your diet, don't dawdle, if you don't want to waddle!

It's better to laugh or to giggle, than to eat more and jiggle!


NON-DIET SAYING:

CHOCOLATE: VALIUM WITH CALORIES.


WARNING: MORE HILARIOUS CALORIE-BURNING LAUGHS, DIET JOKES AND FALL OUT OF YOUR CHAIR DIET HUMOR AHEAD. AND MUNCH MORE.
Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!!
Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

PLEASE NOTE: I answer ALL e-mails, however, I do NOT do INSTANT MESSAGING.

(Sorry, but all my free time is used for researching DIET HUMOR. Please e-mail me if you have a question or suggestion.)
Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"
LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT 1949-2014 by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis"

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

This is a 55-year plus collection and compilation of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR sayings.

IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!






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