I guarantee that this DIET HUMOR collection cannot be duplicated!!! (Have I ever lied to you before?)
Please contact me for more information if you are interested in publishing it:
E-mail me at: dworona(@ sign).yahoo.com
Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.
I do not have a friend in the world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU. Please tell your friends about this DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES Wenb site. Return often, because I am constanly adding DIET HUMOR.
1. Kitchen sign: BLESS ME LORD, FOR I HAVE THINNED!
2. Diet motto: CUTTING THE FAT IS WHERE IT'S AT.
3. Definition: GOURMET: A FOOD FETISHIST.
4. GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WATCH THEIR WEIGHT.
5. OH, I JUST LOVE TO EXERCISE!
(I AM ALSO DELUSIONAL FROM WATER LOSS.)
LEASE NOTE: My FAT JOKES and SKINNY JOKES are meant to be presented in good taste on this website. This is not a "mean" DIET HUMOR website.
TO BELITTLE IS TO BE LITTLE.
You will find some "mild" FAT HUMOR, FAT JOKES, FAT PUNS and FAT QUOTES with the purpose of encouraging you to live a healthy lifestyle. This is a "FAT FREE" website, so to speak. But you will find tons of HIGH-CALORIE DIET HUMOR diversion.
My only objective is to give you a "bellyache" from all the bellylaughs you will find on Daniel Worona's world famous DIET HUMOR website. After all these years it is still #1 on GOOGLE, YAHOO, AOL and most of the other major honest search engines.... Thanks to nice people like you.
Thank you, Daniel Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").
KID'S DIET and FOOD related jokes.
KID'S DIET & DIETING AND FOOD & DRINK HUMOR:
Q: Why did the donut go to the dentist?
A: It needed a chocolate filling!
Q: What food do you put in the refrigerator but it still stays hot?
Q: What did the grape say when someone stepped on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
Q: Who invented that tasty slab of meat?
A: Sir Loin!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy!
I have a page of CLEAN JOKES FOR KIDS (see my FAVORITE LINKS PAGE for the active link to that page).
Kitchen sign: MOM'S CAFE. OPEN 24 HOURS.
Kitchen sign: WELCOME TO THE FUNNY FARM!
Kitchen sign: SAVE WATER. DON'T DO DISHES.
LAZY DIETERS EXERCISE PROGRAM
1. Beating around the bush.
2. Jumping to conclusions.
3. Climbing the walls.
4. Swallowing my pride.
5. Passing the buck.
6. Throwing my weight around.
7. Dragging my heels.
8. Pushing my luck.
9. Jumping on the bandwagon.
10. Running around in circles.
1. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet.
2. Everything tastes good when you're on a diet.
3. Sad fact: SQUARE MEALS MAKE ROUND PEOPLE.
4. THINK SWEET THOUGHTS,
NOT THOUGHTS OF SWEETS.
THE GOOD NEWS: If you are looking for a DIET HUMOR SAYING, DIET JOKES, DIET QUOTE, DIET PUN, or DIET WORD PLAY. (Many are originals by yours truly.) THIS IS THE PLACE!!!!
I have approximately 700 samples of diet humor on this DIET HUMOR website.
THE BAD NEWS: You will not be able to enjoy the other 99.5 % (percent) of DIET HUMOR until I am properly published in book form.
I do not have a friend in the world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU.Why do I need a publisher and a literary agent?: Because... I COULDN'T SELL A LIFEBOAT ON THE TITANIC, however, I am the foremost DIET HUMOR collector in the world. My area of expertise is collecting DIET HUMOR, not publishing.
Please tell your friends about my DIET HUMOR, DIETING JOKES, FUN DIETS, DIET QUOTES, AND FUNNY DIET WORDPLAYS.
COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis"
This is a HOBBY DIET HUMOR WEB SITE!!!
GLAD YOU CAME.
HOPE SO MUCH,
YOU WILL FEEL THE SAME.
My only goal is to publish my 55-year plus collection of more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKE ditties.
I want to share this collection with YOU!!! A large portion of my collection has never before been published.
Daniel Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF “E-MAIL DIET”
Please COPY AND PASTE the following e-mail and pass it on to all your friends.
To: (All your friends)
From: (Your name)
Subject: E-MAIL DIET danworona.50megs.com
Daniel Worona's amazing, fast-acting, polyunsaturated DIET HUMOR E-MAIL DIET:
Read half of Daniel Worona’s DIET HUMOR Web site (danworona.50megs.com) and you will laugh off *5 pounds.
If you take time to enjoy the entire DIET HUMOR Web site, you will laugh off *10 pounds.
Send this message to all your friends and you will lose *5 pounds.
If you delete this message, you will instantly gain 10 pounds.
*RESULTS MAY VARY ACCORDING TO YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"
The easiest way to find my DIET HUMOR Web site is to YAHOO or GOOGLE: DANIEL WORONA and then click on the “HOT” active links.
Until we eat again,
Daniel Worona "RARE BIRD"
No one can even come close to duplicating Daniel L. Worona’s 55-year plus DIET HUMOR collection.
It is a ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!!!
COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these diet humor sayings and/or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit.
NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:
If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH: I thank all the kind people out there in cyberspace who have been giving me credit when when they use material from this DIET HUMOR Web site.
DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com
If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
Do you want to enjoy my more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings collection?
You will when I am published!!!
SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help.
MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:email@example.com
Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.
Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
LAUGH IT OFF DIET.
IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.
COPYRIGHT 1949-2017 by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis"
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
This is a 55-year plus collection and compilation of more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings.
IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!