WORIGINAL

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WORIGINAL DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES and DIET PUNS:

These are original sayings, one-liners, and jokes by DANIEL L. WORONA.

IF YOU QUOTE THEM, YOU MUST GIVE ME CREDIT.


THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN.



To the best of my knowledge, what follows are original [WORIGINAL] sayings by DANIEL L. WORONA

If you disagree, prove it.



WHY DID I CREATE THIS WEBPAGE?

Very simple to answer. Over the years my original sayings [WORIGINAL SAYINGS] have been ripped-off right and left without giving me credit. ZERO! NADA! ZILCH!

Have you ever heard of the commandment: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL?

This is an effort to protect my sayings.

ONE EXAMPLE:

AN ANTI-OBESITY SAYING & PUN:

Good things come to those who wait.

Bad things come to those who WEIGHT!

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

I said that, not AUTHOR UNKNOWN.


ANOTHER EXAMPLE:

Whether you want to be thick or thin IS A MATTER OF TASTE!!!

--WORIGINAL Daniel L. Worona.


AND DON'T FORGET: DIETING IS NO PIECE OF CAKE!!!

Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

[It's about time you rip-off artists give me credit for this one. My name is not author unknown!!!]


I REPEAT MYSELF WHEN I AM HUNGRY.

I REPEAT MYSELF WHEN I AM HUNGRY.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA




CHOCOLATE ALERT!

The following CHOCOLATE SAYINGS, CHOCOLATE JOKES, and CHOCOLATE QUOTES have been ripped off from me right and left for years.

Either give me credit, or don't use them!!!


CHOCOLATE: HERE TODAY... GONE TODAY!

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona

(aka SR. COCOA LOCO, Daniella "Cocoa Chanel", "Cocoa Chanelle")


Q: HOW MANY CALORIES ARE THERE IN A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE?

A: WHO CARES?

--Daniella "Cocoa Chanel" aka "Cocoa Chanelle"

WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by  Daniel L, Worona



CHOCOLATE MILK: THE POOR MAN'S CHAMPAGNE.

-Woriginal original by diet specialist Daniel Worona (aka SR. COCOA LOCO)

"Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!



ROMANCE: THE FIRST KISS!!!

DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST KISS.

IT WAS A CHOCOLATE KISS. (I was only five years old for Pete's sake!)

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona  "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").



ELVIS PRESLEY HUMOR:

ELVIS' FAMOUS LAST WORDS: She won't mind if I take the last piece of chocolate.

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona  "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

Yes, friends, ELVIS was a chocolate lover. How do you think he got so fat?!


CHOCOLATE PUN: CHOCOLATE IS FATTEST-THIGHING.

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by Daniel Worona




OBESITY PUN:

OBESITY IS REALLY WIDESPREAD.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA


OBESITY PUN:

 THE OBESITY PROBLEM IS GROWING.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA


OBESITY PUN:

THE OBESITY PROBLEM IS EXPANDING.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA



OBESITY PUN:

OBESITY IS A BIG PROBLEM.

WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA



OBESITY PUN:


THE OBESITY PROBLEM IS HUGE!

WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA



 DIET ADVICE BY DANIEL L. WORONA:

Weight-loss advice to an obese patient: "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE...JUST EAT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE."

-Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

 (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)



Two Ton Charlie has very little success with his dieting efforts. The only time his weight goes down is when he goes down in an elevator.

(Just funning, folks!)
 
Woriginal dieting joke by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis"


There was an overweight couple, Big Daddy and Big Mama; they tried every miracle fat-burning product on the market. None of them worked. They tried the latest miracle fat-burning product: ZIPPO-LIPO-QUICKO. It did not work either.

They should try: ZIPPA-DA-LIPPA!

(Copyright: Daniel L. Worona)

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA



A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN PUN:

Diet & Exercise And Leave Your Fat Behind

Bye Phatt Buttz (Get it?)

Woriginal Pun byDaniel Worona 

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) 

"Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!



FUNNY DIET PUNS: Diet Riddle/ Diet Pun:

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?

Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS.

(Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous) 

WORIGINAL DIET PUN by THE ONE AND ONLY DANIEL L. WORONA



A PRETTY DITTY PUN by DIET GURU DANIEL L. WORONA: 

So friends and neighbors, step away from the trough, diet guru Daniel Worona is about to show you the "LITE"!!!!

EAT RIGHT, OR DIE(t)!!!, that's my motto.

Woriginal Original Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) 

"Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!



CHOCOLATE MILK: THE POOR MAN'S CHAMPAGNE.

-Woriginal original by diet specialist Daniel L. Worona (aka SR. COCOA LOCO)



ROMANCE: THE FIRST KISS!!!

DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST KISS.

IT WAS A CHOCOLATE KISS. (I was only five years old for Pete's sake!)

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)

Copyright by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").



Weight loss advice by Daniel L. Worona:

WALKING IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.



A FAT WISH: HEAVEN IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN EAT AND EAT AND NOT GET FAT.

--Daniel Worona's fat fantasy "Great Googly Moogly!"



I have compiled umpteen thousand DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES (much of it original material by yours truly). This is a 65-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis."

Please copy this Web site address down so you will remember it: DANWORONA.50MEGS.COM (All lower case, please.)


DIET HUMOR ONE-LINERS:

Here is a GRATE PUN by Daniel Worona:

BARBECUING IS GRATE FUN!



DANIEL L. WORONA’S GUARANTEE:

NO ONE IN THE WORLD CAN COME EVEN CLOSE TO DUPLICATING MY DIET HUMOR COLLECTION!!!

 IT CONTAINS OODLES AND OODLES OF DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND DIET JOKES. NO ONE, MYSELF INCLUDED, CAN MATCH IT! IF I HAD TO START FROM SCRATCH TOMORROW, I COULD NOT DUPLICATE THIS INIMITABLE COLLETION. THIS COLLECTION INCLUDES THOUSAND'S OF ORIGINAL DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, FUNNY DIET WORD PLAYS,  AND  HILARIOUS DIET JOKES BY DANIEL WORONA. (Not to mention his humongous FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR collection.)



Daniel L. Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A compilation of mucho many DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day.

COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "RARA AVIS" [RARE BIRD]

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.




CHOCOLATE HUMOR:

"There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate and chocolate truffles."

WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA



MORE DANIEL L. WORONA  ORIGINAL PUNS:

Here is a death sentence: IF YOU EAT LOTS OF FAT AND GREASE, YOU WILL CEASE.

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

 ("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



 

Diet and Fitness pun:

 Some people trade TIT-FOR-TAT;

healthy people trade FIT-FOR-FAT.

 Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

 (That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)


 


A GOOD PUN IS WORTH REPEATING:


FUNNY DIET PUN: Riddle/pun:

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?

Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS. (Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous)

A WORIGINAL ORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA OBESITY PUN






 

 

 


Dieting is not a piece of cake.

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

 ("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)



DIETING JOKES: IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER LAUGH WORKOUT...

MORE A+ DIET HUMOR AND A+ DIET JOKES by DANIEL L. WORONA:

DIETING PUN: A calorie here, a calorie there... It all adds up to WAISTED TIME.

--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona


Paying a pound for macadamians is NUTS!!!

--WORIGINALDaniel L. Worona



TEE TIME (T-shirt saying):

SUGAR IS KIDDIE COCAINE.

(This is the SWEET TRUTH.)

--Daniel Worona)



THE GOOD NEWS: HAVING A BAD CASE OF TRAVELERS DIARRHEA IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE FIVE POUNDS.

THE BAD NEWS: ...WELL, YOU KNOW THE BAD NEWS.

--Woriginal Daniel L. Worona



BIG DAN'S BIGO BURGER slogan:

LOTS-OF-BUN.

LOTS-OF-FUN.      

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by DANIEL WORONA



Q: Does Daniel Worona eat like a pig?

A:No. He suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.



BULIMICS: You can't have your cake and throw-it-up, too.

WORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona



 FAMOUS FUNNY QUOTES:


I THINK THEREFORE I AM.

--Famous French philosopher Rene Descartes
*****

I EAT THEREFORE I AM (fat).

--Famous philosopher and big eater (GOURMET, excuuuse me!) 

WORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona



 OBESITY IS A GROWING PROBLEM.

--Daniel L. Worona



 

DIETING IS A SHRINKING PROBLEM.

WORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona




WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

 Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona not only makes you laugh, he also makes you think!!!

 

  1. Daniel L. Worona advises: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ... and only half of what you see.

 

  1. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."

--Abraham Lincoln

 

  1. IF YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, YOU BETTER NOT READ.

 

  1. YES, INDEED! TAKE HEED WHEN YOU READ!!!

Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

 

You are enjoying Daniel Worona's LAUGH IT OFF DIET and TRY-ANGLE DIET.

COPYRIGHT by DANIEL "WOR" WORONA

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

This is a 65-year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been seen on the Internet.
+++++
No one can even come close to duplicating Daniel L. Worona’s 65-year plus DIET HUMOR collection.

My DIET HUMOR COLLECTION is growing fatter every day!!!

It is a ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!!!

 COPYRIGHT Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

 

(Online since: June 7, 1999.)

WARNING: If you steal Daniel Worona's DIET HUMOR material, you will be hexed with a BIG FAT CURSE!!!

 

LEGAL NOTICE:

NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

Thank you very much,

Daniel L. Worona



Book: HOW TO LOSE TWENTY POUNDS FAST By X. R. CISE

--WORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona



Book: DIET & Exercise And Leave Your Fat Behind

Bye Phatt Buttz (Get it?)

 Woriginal byDaniel Worona

 (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)



TIME TO DIET: if you WEIGHT, it will be too late!

--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona



Accident victim: You have a broken jaw and casts on both of your broken arms. Look at the bright side, it's a perfect time to go on a diet.

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona




THE GOOD NEWS:  If you are looking for a DIET HUMOR SAYING, DIET JOKES, DIET QUOTE, DIET PUN, or DIET WORD PLAY.  (Many are originals by yours truly.) THIS IS THE PLACE!!!!

I have more than one thousand samples of diet humor on this DIET HUMOR website.

 THE BAD NEWS: You will not be able to enjoy the other 99.5 % (percent) of DIET HUMOR until I am properly published in book form.

I do not have a friend in the world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU.Why do I need a publisher and a literary agent?: Because... I COULDN'T SELL A LIFEBOAT ON THE TITANIC, however, I am the foremost DIET HUMOR collector in the world. My area of expertise is collecting DIET HUMOR, not publishing.



Please tell your friends about my DIET HUMOR, DIETING JOKES, FUN DIETS, DIET QUOTES, AND FUNNY DIET WORDPLAYS.

 COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis"



Whether you want to be thick or thin IS A MATTER OF TASTE!!!

--Daniel Worona.



COMPLAINING ABOUT DIETING AND EXERCISE BURNS OFF EXTRA CALORIES.

 

--WORIGINAL Daniel L. Worona



Daniel Worona's hungry monster anti-diet:

I'VE GOT AN EATING PROBLEM!!!

(I can't get enough!)

 --Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona 



 

WEIGHT LOSS SLOGAN:"Are you going the wrong weigh?"

Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona



A CRYPTIC MESSAGE FROM DANIEL L. WORONA TO MY WEBSITE VISITORS:

YOU DON'T CARE, WHY SHOULD I?

WHATEVER!



 

WORIGINAL

[WEBPAGE UNDER CONSTRUCTION: JUNE 19, 2018.]

 





WORIGINAL

WORIGINAL



WORIGINAL [COMBO WORD: WORONA and ORIGINAL]


WORIGINAL: ORIGINAL SAYINGS AND ONE-LINERS by DANIEL L. WORONA

LIFE:

SOMETIMES LIFE DOESN'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN!!!



Happiness is like a piggy bank, put in it as much as you can.



IF YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO READ UP TO THIS POINT, MAYBE YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT THAT I AM SAVING MY PRIMO DIET HUMOR FOR A HARDBACK DIET HUMOR BOOK.

YOU WILL NOT SEE IT ON THE INTERNET.

CAPICHE???

DANIEL L. WORONA




 

 

 


WORIGINAL DIET HUMOR SAYINS:

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE FAMISHED DIETER WHO WAS A VORACIOUS READER?

SHE DEVOURED HER DIET BOOK IN ONE SITTING.

--WORIGINAL DAN L. WORONA



MONDAY + SUNDAE = FUNDAY

WORIGINAL Daniel  L. Worona



BEWARE OF THE FULL MOON!!!:

PEOPLE DO SUICIDAL THINGS WHEN THERE IS A FULL MOON, LIKE START DIETS.

--A WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA



 

DIET HUMOR PUN: 

I do have GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT!!!

I work in a doughnut shop, and I've gained forty pounds.

--WORIGINAL Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis."