WORIGINAL DIET HUMOR, DIET JOKES and DIET PUNS:

These are original sayings, one-liners, and jokes by DANIEL L. WORONA.

IF YOU QUOTE THEM, YOU MUST GIVE ME CREDIT.

THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN.

To the best of my knowledge, what follows are original [WORIGINAL] sayings by DANIEL L. WORONA

If you disagree, prove it.

WHY DID I CREATE THIS WEBPAGE?

Very simple to answer. Over the years my original sayings [WORIGINAL SAYINGS] have been ripped-off right and left without giving me credit. ZERO! NADA! ZILCH!

Have you ever heard of the commandment: THOU SHALT NOT STEAL?

This is an effort to protect my sayings.

ONE EXAMPLE:

AN ANTI-OBESITY SAYING & PUN:

Good things come to those who wait.

Bad things come to those who WEIGHT!

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

I said that, not AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE:

Whether you want to be thick or thin IS A MATTER OF TASTE!!!

--WORIGINAL Daniel L. Worona.

AND DON'T FORGET: DIETING IS NO PIECE OF CAKE!!!

Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

[It's about time you rip-off artists give me credit for this one. My name is not author unknown!!!]

I REPEAT MYSELF WHEN I AM HUNGRY.

I REPEAT MYSELF WHEN I AM HUNGRY.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

DIET DROPOUT PUN by DANNY BOY, OH BOY! Daniel l. Worona

The fat lady PUNTIFICATED, "I diet religiously... I PREY on SUNDAES."

 -Woriginal original by Daniel "WOR" Worona

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)

CHOCOLATE ALERT!

The following CHOCOLATE SAYINGS, CHOCOLATE JOKES, and CHOCOLATE QUOTES have been ripped off from me right and left for years.

Either give me credit, or don't use them!!!

CHOCOLATE: HERE TODAY... GONE TODAY!

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona

(aka SR. COCOA LOCO, Daniella "Cocoa Chanel", "Cocoa Chanelle")

Q: HOW MANY CALORIES ARE THERE IN A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE?

A: WHO CARES?

--Daniella "Cocoa Chanel" aka "Cocoa Chanelle"

WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by  Daniel L, Worona

CHOCOLATE MILK: THE POOR MAN'S CHAMPAGNE.

-Woriginal original by diet specialist Daniel Worona (aka SR. COCOA LOCO)

"Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!

ROMANCE: THE FIRST KISS!!!

DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST KISS.

IT WAS A CHOCOLATE KISS. (I was only five years old for Pete's sake!)

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona  "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

ELVIS PRESLEY HUMOR:

ELVIS' FAMOUS LAST WORDS: She won't mind if I take the last piece of chocolate.

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona  "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

Yes, friends, ELVIS was a chocolate lover. How do you think he got so fat?!

CHOCOLATE PUN: CHOCOLATE IS FATTEST-THIGHING.

--WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by Daniel Worona

OBESITY PUN:

OBESITY IS REALLY WIDESPREAD.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

OBESITY PUN:

 THE OBESITY PROBLEM IS GROWING.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

OBESITY PUN:

THE OBESITY PROBLEM IS EXPANDING.

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

OBESITY PUN:

OBESITY IS A BIG PROBLEM.

WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA

OBESITY PUN:

THE OBESITY PROBLEM IS HUGE!

WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA

 DIET ADVICE BY DANIEL L. WORONA:

Weight-loss advice to an obese patient: "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE...JUST EAT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE."

-Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

 (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

Two Ton Charlie has very little success with his dieting efforts. The only time his weight goes down is when he goes down in an elevator.

There was an overweight couple, Big Daddy and Big Mama; they tried every miracle fat-burning product on the market. None of them worked. They tried the latest miracle fat-burning product: ZIPPO-LIPO-QUICKO. It did not work either.

They should try: ZIPPA-DA-LIPPA!

(Copyright: Daniel L. Worona)

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN PUN:

Diet & Exercise And Leave Your Fat Behind

Bye Phatt Buttz (Get it?)

Woriginal Pun byDaniel Worona 

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) 

"Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!

FUNNY DIET PUNS: Diet Riddle/ Diet Pun:

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?

Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS.

(Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous) 

WORIGINAL DIET PUN by THE ONE AND ONLY DANIEL L. WORONA

A PRETTY DITTY PUN by DIET GURU DANIEL L. WORONA: 

So friends and neighbors, step away from the trough, diet guru Daniel Worona is about to show you the "LITE"!!!!

EAT RIGHT, OR DIE(t)!!!, that's my motto.

Woriginal Original Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) 

"Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!

CHOCOLATE MILK: THE POOR MAN'S CHAMPAGNE.

-Woriginal original by diet specialist Daniel L. Worona (aka SR. COCOA LOCO)

ROMANCE: THE FIRST KISS!!!

DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST KISS.

IT WAS A CHOCOLATE KISS. (I was only five years old for Pete's sake!)

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)

Copyright by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

Weight loss advice by Daniel L. Worona:

WALKING IS A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

A FAT WISH: HEAVEN IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN EAT AND EAT AND NOT GET FAT.

--Daniel Worona's fat fantasy "Great Googly Moogly!"

I have compiled umpteen thousand DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES (much of it original material by yours truly). This is a 65-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis."

Please copy this Web site address down so you will remember it: DANWORONA.50MEGS.COM (All lower case, please.)

DIET HUMOR ONE-LINERS:

Here is a GRATE PUN by Daniel Worona:

BARBECUING IS GRATE FUN!

DANIEL L. WORONA’S GUARANTEE:

NO ONE IN THE WORLD CAN COME EVEN CLOSE TO DUPLICATING MY DIET HUMOR COLLECTION!!!

 IT CONTAINS OODLES AND OODLES OF DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND DIET JOKES. NO ONE, MYSELF INCLUDED, CAN MATCH IT! IF I HAD TO START FROM SCRATCH TOMORROW, I COULD NOT DUPLICATE THIS INIMITABLE COLLETION. THIS COLLECTION INCLUDES THOUSAND'S OF ORIGINAL DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, FUNNY DIET WORD PLAYS,  AND  HILARIOUS DIET JOKES BY DANIEL WORONA. (Not to mention his humongous FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR collection.)

Daniel L. Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A compilation of mucho many DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day.

COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "RARA AVIS" [RARE BIRD]

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

CHOCOLATE HUMOR:

"There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate and chocolate truffles."

WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA

MORE DANIEL L. WORONA  ORIGINAL PUNS:

Here is a death sentence: IF YOU EAT LOTS OF FAT AND GREASE, YOU WILL CEASE.

-Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

 ("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

Diet and Fitness pun:

 Some people trade TIT-FOR-TAT;

healthy people trade FIT-FOR-FAT.

 Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

 (That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)

A GOOD PUN IS WORTH REPEATING:

FUNNY DIET PUN: Riddle/pun:

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?

Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS. (Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous)

A WORIGINAL ORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA OBESITY PUN

CHOCOLATE NUTrition advice:

EAT A SQUARE MEAL A DAY; EAT A BOX OF CHOCOLATE COVERED NUTS.

--Daniel Worona

DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE, DOUBLE YOUR FUN, EAT TWO BOXES OF CHOCOLATE INSTEAD OF JUST ONE. (And you'll probably double your weight, too.)

Woriginal quote by  --Daniel L. Worona

THERE ARE FOUR BASIC FOOD GROUPS: MILK CHOCOLATE, DARK CHOCOLATE, WHITE CHOCOLATE, AND CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES.

--Daniel "WOR" Worona

DIGITAL CHOCOLATE IS CALORIE-FREE, TASTE-FREE AND FUN-FREE. (Give me the REAL DEAL!)

--Daniel Worona

If you steal (er- I mean borrow) these quotes, at least have the decency to give Daniel L. Worona his due credit.

WORIGINAL QUOTES BY DANIEL L. WORONA

LIFE:

SOMETIMES LIFE DOESN'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN!!!

A DUH! DUH! DUH! ISM.

Happiness is like a piggy bank, put in it as much as you can.

DIET MUSING by DIET HUMORIST DAN WORONA:

I ONLY EAT IN THREE PLACES:

HERE, THERE AND EVERYWERE.

ORIGINAL SAYING by Diet Humorist: DANIEL L. WORONA

WEIGHT LOSS SLOGAN:

"Are you going the wrong weigh?"

 Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

LATIN: Rara Avis (“Rare Bird”).

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

 ("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! 

Woriginal original DIET JOKES & DIET PUNS by Daniel Worona:

Diet puns: AMAZING NEW WEIGHT LOSS DISCOVERY!!!

Daniel Worona's famous PIG EAR SOUP DIET.

It is EAR-RESISTIBLE!

(Yummy! It will take you BREADTH away!)

I saw a poster advertising a lecture to be given by a world-famous nutritionist on EATING PROBLEMS. I said to myself: HEY, I DON'T NEED THAT. I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM EATING!!

(I do it all the time.)

--Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" (version)

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

Diet and Fitness pun by DAN WORONA:

Some people trade TIT-FOR-TAT;

healthy people trade FIT-FOR-FAT.

(If you sit, you ain't fit.)

Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

The SUBWAY SANDWICH DIET doesn't work!

 I have not eaten anything but one Subway sandwich a day for a month and I've gained twenty-two pounds! Not only that, those six-foot-long Subway sandwiches are really expensive!!!

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

PLEASE NOTE: My name is NOT Author Anonymous, nor AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

Weight-loss advice to an obese patient: "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE...JUST EAT THE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE."

-Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

FRIEND, DO YOU SUFFER FROM AN OVERACTIVE FORK? DON'T WEIGHT! DIET NOW!

WORIGINAL DIET SAYING by Daniel L. Worona

A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION [WITHOUT RIVAL!!!]

OBJECTIVE: I want to publish my inimitable collection so that everyone may enjoy it.

(That means Y-O-U!!!)

 I am seeking a literary agent and a major publisher who will do justice to my DIET HUMOR, DIET LAUGHS and DIET JOKES collection.

DAN WORONA  is looking for a literary agent and major publisher for his collection of thousands and thousands of DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES.

 E-MAIL: You may contact me at: dworona@yahoo.com

(Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread. You've been warned.)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me.

HELP A PUBLISHER-CHALLENGED DIET HUMOR WRITER:

To help a publisher-challenged writer, you may e-mail him at: dworona@yahoo.com.

Daniel L. Worona's LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

A PEERLESS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION compiled by DANIEL L. WORONA

(PEERLESS: without equal; unrivaled.)

Diet Advice by Daniel L. Worona:

 When I say: Instead of YO-YO DIETING, try HO-HO DIETING. I am not talking about a steady diet of "HO-HOs and Twinkies." I am talking about HO-HO's as in HA-HA!

--Daniel L. Worona

We all know that Santa invented the "HO-HO DIET", and you should know Daniel L. Worona is the founder of the "HA-HA DIET". Thank you very much.

DIET PUNS by DAN WORONA:

Dieters are very "NARROW-MINDED."

--Diet pun by Daniel L. Worona

DIET DROPOUTS are "BROAD-MINDED."

--Diet pun by Daniel L. Worona

WHEN YOU OVERINDULGE, THERE IS A “HEAVY PRICE” TO PAY.

THIS IS A: "Woriginal original." 

by Daniel "WOR" Worona “Rara Avis”

EAT LIKE A PIG AND YOU WILL LOOK LIKE ONE.

Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona