FUNNY DIET JOKES

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FUNNY DIET JOKES: A 55-YEAR PLUS COLLECTION BY DANIEL L. WORONA. THE LAUGH IT OFF DIET. IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. by Dan Worona)

I want to share this lifelong collection of more than 333,333.33 diet humor sayings with YOU.

(Please read on to find out how.)


333,333.33 DIET JOKES!

(A THIRD OF A MILLION= three hundred thirty-three thousand three hundred thirty-three and thirty-three hundredths.)
 
Have you ever heard a third of a joke? You are in for a treat. Read on.

"ONE-THIRD OF A JOKE" My version is a Copyright of DANIEL L. WORONA "RARA AVIS"



REMEMBER: Before beginning any diet or exercise program, check with your doctor -- to make sure your heart can take the shock of the price of exercise equipment.



FUNNY WEIGHT WATCHERS MAGIC:

HOW TO BE 20% LIGHTER (INSTANTLY): 

Introducing: L I T E!
The new, LIGHT "weigh" to spell "light!" With 20% fewer letters!

DIET JOKES
I don't exercise at all.If God had wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them up higher on my body.
The Garlic Diet:
You don't lose weight, you just look thinner from a distance.
DIET EXCUSES:
1. The donut was calling my name.

2. It was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.

3. I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating the so-called diet food, so I ate a candy bar.

GOOD NEWS / BAD NEWS JOKES:GOOD NEWS: BACON IS FOUND TO BE GOOD FOR YOU.

BAD NEWS: ONLY IF IT IS BOILED.

1. DIET PILLS"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time...."

2. YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN......

You try to do a few push ups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.
...

You get winded just saying the words "ten-kilometer run."

You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

Your driver's license says, "Picture continued."

DIET AND WEIGHT LOSS JOKES

1. DIET JOKE:

Q: Are you an optomist or a pessimist?

A: Neither. I am a GASTRONIMIST! I see life as a really great source of things to eat.  
--Ann Chovy: THE GASTRONOMIC COMIC.

2. DIET LAUGH: THE GREATEST WEIGHT-LOSS SECRET OF ALL-TIME: THERE IS A NEW DIET THAT WILL FINALLY HELP MILLIONS OF AMERICANS TO LOSE WEIGHT: THE HIGH PRICE OF FOOD.
3. DIET JOKEROO: DOCTORS SAY THAT IF YOU EAT SLOWLY YOU EAT LESS. (You certainly will if you are a member of a large family.)

4. HUMOROUS JOKE Q: WHY ARE YOU EATING SO FAST?
A: I WANT TO EAT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BEFORE I LOSE MY APPETITE. 

5. GRAVITY BRINGS ME DOWN.

6. DIET RIDDLE: Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WHO ABANDONED HIS STRICT DIET?

A: DESSERTER!

7. DIET JOKE: My favorite diet is the ZONE DELIVERY. This is where people get three special ZONE meals delivered a day. It actually works. And I'll tell you why: It's expensive! After a couple of weeks, you're so poor that you can't afford to eat anything. --Cedric

8. DIET RIDDLE: Q: What is the difference betwee a hungry man and a glutton?
A: One longs to eat and the other eats too long.

9. DIET POLICE: How's your new diet coming along?
Hoss: Not so good. I'm sneaking too many snacks between meals.
DIET POLICE: Have you gained weight?
Hoss: No, but I spent so much time last night poking my head in the refrigerator, my nose got frostbite.

10. WHAT'S GNU? Did you hear about the herd of fat gnus who started a diet club newspaper called: THE DIET GNUS? (You're suppose to laugh.)*This DIET JOKE is even worse if you read it out loud.--Original DIET JOKE by Daniel Worona "Rare Bird"

11. DIET JOKE: THE LIGHT EATER DIET GURU: Did you say you're a light eater? You must weigh over 300 pounds!
OVERWEIGHT MAN: That's right. As soon as it's light, I start eating.

12. Wife to her overweight husband: Last night there were two pieces of cake in this pantry and now ther is only one. How do you explain that?
Husband: I guess it was so dark that I didn't see the other piece.

13. DIETING JOKE: Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn't want to gain weight in the wrong places?

14. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?A: AN IMPASTA.

15. Some JOKER from JOKESVILLE sent this:
THE BAD NEWS: Most kid's breakfast cereals have over fifty percent of their calories as sugar.
THE GOOD NEWS: The box is high in fiber.
(Eat the box and throw away the cereal. --D. Worona  jokingly suggestion.)

16. MY LOW-FAT DIET MUST BE WORKING. THE FAT HANGS LOWER EVERYDAY!

17. Two Ton Charlie has very little success with his dieting efforts. The only time his weight goes down is when he goes down in an elevator. (Just funning, folks!) 
Woriginal dieting joke by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis"

18. Q: WHAT IS WORST THAN A TONGUE TWISTER?
A: A TONGUE TWISTER WHILE CHEWING BUBBLE GUM.TRY THIS ONE: DOUBLE BUBBLE GUM, BUBBLES DOUBLE.

19. The name of a mayonaise brand in Guatemala: ANA BELLY.

20. OBESITY: THE PROBLEM ISN'T PEOPLE EATING TOO MUCH, BUT RATHER PEOPLE NOT BURNING OFF ENOUGH CALORIES.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

21. Wordplay: OBESITY IS AN EVER-EXPANDING PROBLEM.
 
-Woriginal by Daniel Worona

22. Q: HOW CAN I BURN CALORIES FASTER?
 
A: BICYCLE 20 MPH INSTEAD OF 10 MPH. HA HA!
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"
 
("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO DIET WHEN...

You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."

You could sell shade.


FUNNY DIET SAYINGS:

Don't go out of your weigh to please anyone but yourself.


If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner.
My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it.

Dieting is not a piece of cake.

--WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!)



DIET MUSING:

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.


You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.

NEWS FLASH!!!: The next miracle diet is MINERARIANISM. (Remember you heard it here first from Daniel L. Worona.)

MINERARIANS: PEOPLE WHO DO NOT EAT ANY LIVING THINGS, ANIMAL OR VEGETABLE. THEY EAT ROCKS. ONLY ROCKS. THEY WASH THEM DOWN WITH WATER.Some people have “ROCKS IN THEIR HEAD”, minerarians have them in their stomach.MINERARIANS slogans: ROCK ON!!!... ROCK YOUR BODY!!!... ROCK OUT!!!... LET'S ROCK!!!MINERARIANS ROCK!!!

--Woriginal by "NO-STONE-UNTURNED" DANIEL L. WORONA
 
("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

LITERARY AGENT & PUBLISHER WANTED: Please e-mail me for further information.

DIET RIDDLE: WHAT DO YOU CALL AN OVERWEIGHT PREACHER WHO PLAYS SOCCER? A: THE ROLY-POLY-HOLY-GOALIE



DIETING JOKES: IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER LAUGH WORKOUT...

1. DIETING PUN: A calorie here, a calorie there... It all adds up to WAISTED TIME.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

2. Paying a pound for macadamians is NUTS!!!  --Daniel L. Worona

3. TEE TIME (T-shirt saying): SUGAR IS KIDDIE COCAINE.

(This is the SWEET TRUTH. --Daniel Worona)

4. JEST FEST: Sign in a British bakery:

VICKIE'S BAKERY (POSITIVELY NO LOAFING)

5. FUN FARE "DIET TIP": EAT WHAT YOU WANT, BUT JUST ONE. IF YOU CAN'T STOP AFTER ONE, CALL ME, AND I'LL COME OVER AND PULL ALL YOUR TEETH OUT.

6. FETTUCCINE ALFREDO IS A HEART ATTACK ON A PLATE.

7. FOOD HUMOR JOKE: When you are lost in the woods, the most basic rule of  survival  is: NEVER LOOK LIKE FOOD.  --Yosemite park ranger.

8. LITE LAUGHTER: WHAT DO SEVEN DAYS OF DIETING DO? THEY MAKE ONE WEAK (WEEK).

9. OBESITY IS TOO BROAD OF A SUBJECT FOR ME.

--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona 
10. IF YOU DON'T EAT HEALTHY, YOU WILL HAVE A SLIM CHANCE OF LOSING WEIGHT.



I am waiting for YOU to send me some FUNNY DIET ANECDOTES, OBESITY HUMOR, OBESITY JOKES, FAT JOKES, FAT HUMOR and LIGHT  JOKES & LAUGHS.

I CARE: I share, you share, we all share. We all LAUGH IT OFF!!! 

E-mail me (please): dworona@yahoo.com 

(Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail Daniel Worona.


 

DIET JOKE: She does weight lifting with the wrong equipment: A KNIFE AND A FORK.

DIETED LATELY? BY THE TIME I'M THIN... FAT WILL BE IN.



Have a comment or a DIET JOKE or WEIGHT LOSS JOKE to share?

Send me an Email I'd love to hear from you! Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.  Thank you.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.



WEIGHT LOSS JOKE:

 Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Bruno and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds in weight."

"Why don't you just leave him then ?" asked her friend.

"Oh ! Not yet." the first replied, "I like to lose at least another ten to fifteen pounds first."

FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS ONE LINER: I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT, I'M UNDERTALL.

 

 

WANTED (Please e-mail me.): FUNNY DIETS (Is there such a thing as a FUN DIET?), KID DIET JOKES , SKINNY JOKES, BIG DIET JOKES, LITTLE DIET JOKES, OBESITY JOKES and DIET LIMERICKS .


HUNGRY FOR MORE FUNNY DIET JOKES?

Please come back another day for more DIETING JOKES.


Do you have a PRACTICLE DIET JOKE you can share? Please e-mail them to me.

MY e-mail address is: dworona@yahoo.com
 

(Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.)

If this "HOT"/active e-mail link does not work for you, please use your regular e-mail service.


Have a comment, DIET LAUGH, DIET QUOTE, DIET ANECDOTE, DIET HUMOUR, DIET ONE LINER, DIET HOLIDAY JOKE, "LITE"/LIGHT HUMOR or a DIET JOKE to share?

Send me an e-mail. I'd love to hear from you!

My e-mail address is:  dworona@yahoo.com


Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.


I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT, I'M UNDERTALL.

MORE HILARIOUS DIET JOKES AHEAD. PLEASE CONTINUE.


SURPRISE BONUS: EXERCISE, FITNESS HUMOR, RUNNING JOKES, and AEROBICS JOKES AND LAUGHS.


TIME FOR ANOTHER LAUGH WORKOUT.
EXERCISE AND FITNESS HUMOR:
 
1. I HAVE TO EXERCISE EARLY IN THE MORNING BEFORE MY BRAIN FIGURES OUT WHAT I AM DOING.

2. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

3. THE ONLY EXERCISE I GET IS JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS.

A RUNNING JOKE: 
 
Two guys are out in the woods hiking.

All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them.

The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.

The second guy says, "What are you doing? He says, "I figure when the bear gets too close, we'll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear..."

The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you!


YOU MIGHT BE A CROSS COUNTRY RUNNER IF YOUR TEAM NICKNAME IS: RUN FOR FUN.

YOU MIGHT BE A CROSS COUNTRY RUNNER IF YOUR DESSERT IS BRUSSEL SPROUTS.

RUNNING ADVICE FOR THE OVERWEIGHT: START SLOW, THEN TAPER OFF.

RUNNING IS A FOUR WEATHER SPORT.


AEROBICS HUMOR & JOKES:

Q. Why did the aerobics instructor cross the road?
A. Someone on the other side could still walk.

Q. What do aerobics instructors and people who make bacon have in common?
A. They both tear hams into shreds.

Q. How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Four!...Three!...Two!...One!

Q. An ethical lawyer, an honest politician, and a merciful aerobics instructor all fall out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first?
A. It doesn't matter - none of them exist.

Q. What do you call an aerobics instructor who doesn't cause pain and agony?
A. Unemployed.

Q. What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist?
A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

1. DIRTY DAN'S GREASY SPOON serving from the following FOOD GROUPS: GREASE, FAT, SUGAR, and CAFFEINE.

2. YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN OKLAHOMA WHEN:
A: THE LOCALS THINK HEINZ KETCHUP IS SPICY. B: YOU REQUIRE KNEE SURGERY FROM ALL THE "HEALTHY" ACTIVITIES YOU'VE BEEN DOING.

3. OVERWEIGHT IS A HEAVY BURDEN. OBESITY IS A HEAVIER BURDEN.  --Daniel Worona
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK:

4. THE GOOD NEWS: HAVING A BAD CASE OF TRAVELERS DIARRHEA IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE FIVE POUNDS.
THE BAD NEWS: ...WELL, YOU KNOW THE BAD NEWS.
--Woriginal Daniel Worona

5. WORDPLAY: VEGETARIANS TASTE BETTER.
 

This DIET HUMOR & JOKES WEB SITE is a HOBBY Web site. My only goal is to share my more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND JOKES (THIS IS NOT A MISPRINT!!!) with YOU!

If you like my DIET HUMOR, DIET ONE LINERS and DIET JOKES website, I commend your good taste. PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS . SPREAD THE WORD.

MORE HILARIOUS DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES AHEAD. PLEASE CONTINUE.

DIET JOKES & DIET HUMOR:

1. A
KEWL DIET JOKE:
Q: HOW CAN YOU KEEP FROM GETTING A SHARP PAIN IN YOUR EYE WHEN YOU DRINK YOUR DIET DRINK?
A: TAKE THE SPOON OUT OF THE GLASS.


2. HEAVY DIET LAUGH:

PLUMP OPERA SINGER: She has a golden voice, an ear for music, and a nose for food.  --Woriginal DANIEL WORONA


3. Name of an Asian restaurant: WOK 'N ROLL.


4. BIG DAN'S BIGO BURGER slogan:


LOTS-OF-BUN.

LOTS-OF-FUN.       

--Woriginal original DANIEL WORONA


5. ONE LINER: I'M NOT FAT. I'M PLUMPISH.


6. TEE TIME (T-shirt saying): THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS: FAST, FROZEN, INSTANT, AND CHOCOLATE.


7. LEARN TO SPEAK CHINESE:

I thought you were on a diet-
Wai Yu Mun Ching?


8. A
DOG QUOTE JUST FUR YOU: IF YOUR DOG IS TOO FAT, YOU ARE NOT GETTING ENOUGH EXERCISE.

9. CHEF: ANY COOK WHO SWEARS IN FRENCH.


10. KITCHEN SIGN: MARTHA STEWART DOESN'T LIVE HERE.  (Neither does ATKINS)


11. KITCHEN SIGN: GARDENING FOREVER...HOUSEWORK NEVER. 


12: KITCHEN SIGN: GARDEN OF EATING.


YOU MIGHT BE A BAD COOK IF...
 
1. Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
 
2. When you BBQ two of your kids hold water guns and the third has the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
 
3. Pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
 
4. The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
 
5. Your family buys Rolaids, Pepto Bismal, and Tums in bulk.


SKIDDLE DADLE DO, I GOTTA G0. 


COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: IF ANY OF THE ABOVE JOKES AND/OR IMAGES ARE IN BREACH OF COPYRIGHT, I WILL WILLINGLY REMOVE THEM AND/OR GIVE PROPER CREDIT.

A BIG THANKY,
DANIEL L. WORONA 
 
Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.
 
STICK A FORK IN ME, I'M DONE.


Please e-mail me your comments and suggestions: 

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

(Please include the words DIET HUMOR or DIET JOKES in the Subject line of your e-mail. If this "HOT"/active e-mail link does not work for you, please use your regular e-mail service.)



Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A PASTRY CHEF?
A: HE DESSERTS YOU.
(Boy, doesn't that joke take the cake?)



T-shirt: VENDING MACHINE ENTHUSIAST.

FREQUENTLY UNASKED QUESTIONS (FUQ) 
Q: What is Daniel Worona's favorite saying when asked if anyone wants seconds on dessert?
A: GET THEE BEHIND ME!

NOTE: This small collection of SKINNY HUMOR, SKINNY JOKES, UNFATTY HUMOR, BULIMIA / BULIMIC and ANOREXIC JOKES (all presented in good taste) on this DIET JOKES page.

These jokes are NOT meant to be “mean.”

1. Q: What was the centerpiece of the annual Anorexia and Bulimia Sufferers Convention?
A: A cake jumping out of a girl.

2. Q: Does Daniel Worona eat like a pig?
A. No. He suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

3. BULIMICS: You can't have your cake and throw-it-up, too.--Daniel L. Worona

4. Q: WHAT DOES A BULIMIC HAVE FOR DESSERT?
A: TWO FINGERS.
(I only put this bulimia joke to draw attention to EATING DISORDERS, not to make fun of bulimics. If you have an EATING DISORDER, there are internet sites that will offer you help and guidance. I wish you the best of health. Daniel Worona... Still alive in 2005.)
 
4. Q: WHERE IS DANIEL WORONA'S DIET HUMOR MOTHER LODE?
A: The CORE of my DIET HUMOR and DIET JOKES collection (99.5%) is NOT on the internet (World Wide Web). It will remain "buried" until it is properly published in book form.

Can YOU help me to get published, or offer a suggestion?
A BIG THANKY! Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

E-mail:

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

Please include the words "DIET HUMOR" in the Subject line.



FAMOUS FUNNY QUOTES:
1. I THINK THEREFORE I AM.
--Famous French philosopher Rene Descartes
 
2. I EAT THEREFORE I AM (fat). 
--Famous philosopher and big eater (GOURMET, excuuuse me!) Daniel L. Worona
 
3. OBESITY IS A GROWING PROBLEM.
--Daniel L. Worona
 
4. DIETING IS A SHRINKING PROBLEM.
--Daniel L. Worona
 
5. QUOTE: IF YOUR DOG IS FAT, YOU ARE NOT GETTING ENOUGH EXERCISE.
--UNKNOWN 



INFAMOUS SNAKE OILS: "TRIED AND TRUE"

1. FAT-GO: a diet concoction to take the pounds off, of course.
 
2. WATE-ON: to put them back on again.
(Like we really need help! Dan Worona)


JOKE BOOK TITLE:

THE FRENCH CHEF by SUE FLAY


Daniel "WOR" Worona is a FINE WHINE before his TIME. (He has been collecting DIET HUMOR for more than fifty-five years:)

How can you help me get published in book form?

First: By visiting this DIET HUMOR Web site often.

Secondly... WORD OF MOUTH: Please tell your friends about my  DIET HUMOR Web site.
Just GOOGLE: "DANIEL WORONA" to get the "HOT"/active links to my humor Web sites.



DONE CHANGED MY MIND: I will continue to add DIET HUMOR to this Web site, however, I will not be posting the "PRIMO",  or "THE BEST OF THE BEST" of my more than 55-year DIET HUMOR collection.

I am saving the "CREME DE LA CREME" of my DIET HUMOR collection for when my DIET HUMOR collection is published in book form.

PLEASE HELP ME TO FIND A PUBLISHER.



DIET JOKES:

1. I'M ON A 90 DAY WONDER DIET.   THUS FAR, I'VE LOST 45 DAYS.

2. A
HAPPY DIETER

After going on a diet, a woman felt really good about herself, especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown a long time ago.
"Look! Look!" she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband. "I can wear my old jeans again!"
Her husband looked at her for a long time, then  he said, "Honey, I love you, but those are my jeans."

3. Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
AN ADIPOSE JOKE:
It is not unusual to call people after what they eat. You call the Germans Krauts and the Americans Fats.
(Have you ever heard of Fats Domino or Fats Waller?)
 

4. MT. EVEREST: The scenery will take your breath away...
AND CLIMBING MT. EVEREST WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY AND YOUR BREADTH, TOO.
--Daniel L. Worona

5. WALKING ECONOMY
A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy."
His friend replies, "How's that?"
"It's like this: my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a deep depression."


DIET PALINDROMES: (Palindrome: A word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward.)
 
1. DOC, NOTE I DISSENT A FATNESS. I DIET ON COD.
 
2. DOC, NOTE I DISSENT. A FAST NEVER PREVENTS A FATNESS. I DIET ON COD.


WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona not only makes you laugh, he also makes you think!!!

1.
Daniel L. Worona advises: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ... and only half of what you see.

2. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."

--Abraham Lincoln

3. IF YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, YOU BETTER NOT READ.

4. YES, INDEED! TAKE HEED WHEN YOU READ!!!

Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona



You are enjoying Daniel Worona's LAUGH IT OFF DIET and TRY-ANGLE DIET.
COPYRIGHT by DANIEL "WOR" WORONA
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

This is a 55-year plus collection, a large portion of which has never been published.

IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!
Daniel Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A compilation of over 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day.

I could have been a chef but I cooked my goose. (Wow, that's punderful!)



AN OPTIMIST LAUGHS TO FORGET.
A PESSIMIST FORGETS TO LAUGH.



NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:
If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit. You may borrow up to a maximum of fifthteen (15) sayings from Daniel L. Worona’s DIET HUMOR Web site for your Web site PROVIDED you attach an active link back to this Web site (danworona.50megs.com).

If you do not attach an active link back to Daniel Worona’s DIET HUMOR Web site, you will be considered "IN VIOLATION OF COPYRIGHT." I didn't spend 55-plus years collecting this material so you can rip me off. Amen.


No one can even come close to duplicating Daniel L. Worona’s 55-year plus DIET HUMOR collection.

More than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings and growing fatter every day!!!

It is a ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!!!

COPYRIGHT Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" (I made up my first diet / chocolate joke when I was only 5 years old.)
 
(Online since: June 7, 1999.)



COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these diet humor sayings and/or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit.

WARNING: If you steal Daniel Worona's DIET HUMOR material, you will be hexed with a BIG FAT CURSE!!!


LEGAL NOTICE:


NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

 

Thank you very much,

 

Daniel l. Worona



WORST-CASE SCENARIO:
 

DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com
  

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
 

Who loses?!  Not me! YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.

Do you want to enjoy my more than 33,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings collection?

You will when I am published!!!


SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help. 

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:
Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

E-mail:
dworona@yahoo.com 

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

I apoligize for the poor alignment of this page. The fault lies with the 50 MEGS server, not me.
Daniel L. Worona

Daniel "WOR" Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, obesity and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!!



Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT 1949-2017 by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis"

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

This is a 55-year plus collection and compilation of more than 33,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings.

IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!



DIET HUMOR WEBSITE:

NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:

If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit.



LEGAL NOTICE:

NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

Thank you very much,

Daniel L. Worona

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

PLEASE NOTE: My name is NOT Author Anonymous, nor AUTHOR UNKNOWN.



Many DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET JOKES and MOTIVATIONAL DIET SAYINGS are "hidden" throughout this Web site.

MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WHOLE PAGE!!!