DIET QUOTES

More than 90,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES: a 50-year plus collection compiled by Daniel Worona "Rara Avis." (Many are originals by Daniel Worona.) THIS DIET HUMOR COLLECTION IS INIMITABLE!!!

DIET QUOTES AND DIET HUMOR QUOTES.

DIET HUMOR QUOTE: I ONLY EAT THREE TIMES A DAY --MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT.
--Daniel L. Worona
DIETER: I ONLY EAT IN THREE PLACES: HERE. THERE. AND EVERYWHERE.
--Daniel L. Worona
GOOD NEWS: CHEESECAKE IS NOT FATTENING (provided you get sufficient physical exercise).
...LIKE RUNNING A MARATHON!
--Woriginal Daniel L. Worona
I am on my way to Corsicana, Texas, Fruitcake Capital of the World. They'd better give free samples, or heads will roll.
--Earlene Fowler

(In reference to sensible eating and losing excess pounds)
HUNGRY CATS LIVE LONGER THAN FAT CATS.
--SUMNER REDSTONE (Mogul & Billionaire extraordinaire)

"THE REASON FAT PEOPLE ARE HAPPY IS THAT THE NERVES ARE WELL PROTECTED. Luciano Pavarotti

OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND.

My box of chocolates is OUT OF SIGHT, and I'm OUT OF MY MIND.
--Daniel Worona

Gifts: Flowers are always appropriate, though I prefer CHOCOLATES myself.

Please do not take any of the DIET HUMOR personally. If you do, then you need to LIGHTEN UP! (Get it?) --Daniel Worona
SMART PUBLISHER WANTED: Please click on my PUBLISHERS ONLY LINK on my FAVORITE LINKS PAGE.
Why do I need a publisher? Because I couldn't sell a lifeboat on the Titanic. Besides, if I knew what I was doing, I'D BE DANGEROUS!
--Dock Daniel Worona M.D. (Master of Disaster)

1. NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS BEING THIN FEELS.

2. NEWS FLASH: Worldwide obesity epidemic.

OBESITY IS A WIDENING PROBLEM.
--Daniel Worona

3. Bad diet advice: DO WHAT YOU ARE GOOD AT.
LET'S SEE, I'M GOOD AT COOKING. I'M GOOD AT EATING.
--Daniel Worona

4. Where do you go to get anorexia?

-Shelly Winters

5. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. –Mrs. Anon.

6. I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.

-Paula Poundstone

7. More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.

–Johnny K. Galbraith

8. Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.
-Don Kardong

9. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet.

-Lewis C. Henry

10. I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me!
Anon.

11. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

-Mae West

12. I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days.

–Two Ton Tony

13. I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.

-Jennifer Greene Duncan

14. Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends.

15. I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
-Attributed to Daniel L. Worona

16. A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. –Who Cares

17. The Cardiologist's Diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. –Sr. Anon.

18. It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.

-Plutarch

19. I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.

-Jane Wagner

20. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

-The Cookie Industry

21. To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.

Proverbius Proverb

22. If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams.
-Jason Love

23. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
-Anon.

24. I buy Hefty designer jeans, not at the Gap, at the Gorge.
-Billy Elmer

25. One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~Cicero

HoW To KeEp A HeALthY LeVel Of iNsAniTy aNd dRiVe OtHeR PeOPLe iNsAnE:

Q: HoW dO yOu GeT a CoUch PotaTo tO dO SiT-uPs?
A: TapE tHe rEMotE cONtroL tO hIs aNkLeS.
--DaNieL L. WoROnA

IMAGE CREDITS AND DISCLAIMER: If any of the images or sayings on this Web site are in violation of copyright, I will remove them immediately or give the proper credit.

MY GUARANTEE: NO ONE IN THE WORLD CAN COME EVEN CLOSE TO DUPLICATING MY DIET HUMOR COLLECTION!!!

IT CONTAINS MORE THAN 90,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS AND DIET JOKES. NO ONE, MYSELF INCLUDED, CAN MATCH IT! IF I HAD TO START FROM SCRATCH TOMORROW, I COULD NOT DUPLICATE THIS INIMITABLE COLLETION.

THIS COLLECTION INCLUDES THOUSAND'S OF ORIGINAL DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET WORD PLAYS, AND DIET JOKES BY DANIEL WORONA. (Not to mention his humongous FOOD AND DRINK HUMOR collection.)

PLEASE NOTE: NINETY-NINE POINT FIVE PERCENT (99.5%) OF MY DIET HUMOR COLLECTION IS NOT FOUND ON THE INTERNET!!!

DIET QUOTES, DIET HUMOR QUOTES compiled by DANIEL WORONA "Rara Avis."

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these diet humor sayings and/or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit.

OBESITY AND ANOREXIA IS A DYING WEIGH OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly) -Daniel Worona CHIEF OF THE FOOD POLICE