ELVIS HUMOR & JOKES

Home Page | DIET HUMOR | DIET JOKES | MISC. DIET HUMOR | CHOCOLATE HUMOR | DIET DROPOUT HUMOR | DIET PUNS | DIET BALONEY | DIET RIOT | DIET HUMOR SOS | DIET QUOTES | WEIGHT LOSS JOKES | DIET "WOR" | Favorite Links Page | OBESITY HUMOR & OBESITY JOKES | FAT JOKES |  ELVIS HUMOR | WEIGHT WATCHERS JOKES | NEW DIET JOKES

ELVIS PRESLEY

 

 

BEST ELVIS JOKES, QUOTES, ONE-LINERS & ELVIS HUMOR / HUMOUR.

FUNNY ELVIS HUMOR AND FUNNY ELVIS JOKES:

This webpage is dedicated to the King of Rock and Roll: ELVIS PRESLEY.


ELVIS PRESLEY JOKES

FUNNY ELVIS WORDPLAY:

Elvis had a good sense of humor and he loved wordplay. He couldn't resist turning words on themselves.

Elvis Presley singing Heartbreak Hotel became:

ELVIS PRETZEL singing HEARTBURN HOTEL.



Elvis Presley had a BIG APPETITE for life, singing, women, cars, and food. He had "food issues", and I will be poking fun and spoofing his food "faux pas" and his food "ET"-iquette. If you know what I mean. He shoulda "et" a healthy diet.

Elvis also had "drug abuse" issues.

You are not as smart as you think you are. I betcha don't know his cause of death at at age 42 back in 1977. Do ya? I'll give you three guesses.

HOW ELVIS DIED:

Q: DO YOU KNOW WHAT KILLED ELVIS?

A: Butter!!!

According to Dr. Jerry Francisco, the Shelby County coroner who performed the autopsy, said, "Elvis had coronary disease and hypertension. Butter probably produced more damage on his heart than drugs."




FAMOUS GREASE DIETS:

THE ELVIS PRESLEY GREASE DIET versus THE DANIEL WORONA GREASE DIET. Which would you choose? 


THE ELVIS PRESLEY GREASE DIET: It consisted of tons of Southern fried food, cheeseburgers, bacon, and butter galore. Elvis put butter on his butter.


DANIEL “WOR” WORONA’S GREASE DIET: Diet, health and fitness guru Daniel “WOR” Worona recommend’s tons and tons of grease in your diet… --ELBOW GREASE!!!



ELBOW GREASE is an idiom for working hard and vigorous exertion (as in: "BURN, BABY, BURN!... those calories.").



HUMAN NATURE IS FUNNY:

IF YOU WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE ANGRY, LIE TO THEM.

IF YOU WANT TO REALLY PISS THEM OFF, TELL THEM THE TRUTH.



THINSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE:

Right before your eyes, The Big Kahuna of Dieting, Daniel Worona, is about to perform dieting magic. He is going change an ELVIS NEGATIVE into a ELVIS POSITIVE!!!

ELVIS THE LEGEND: He conquered the world with his guitar and his voice.  

THE LATE GREAT ELVIS: Elvis was great at everything he did. Many people believe he was the greatest singer and entertainer ever, myself included. 



ELVIS' MISSION IN LIFE:

He used to wonder what his "mission in life" was. Well, dieting guru Daniel "WOR" Worona is about to tell you. His poor eating habits are notorious. By spoofing Elvis Presley's poor eating habits, Daniel Worona will change a negative image into a positive. Elvis was a GOOD EXAMPLE of a  BAD EXAMPLE!!!



THE RELEVANCE OF FAT ELVIS:

Elvis Presley was a prodigious eater. This Fat Elvis spoof, by yours truly, will show you how NOT to eat!!! Fat Elvis will serve as a bad example of what happens when you Hoover up your food. (That was his ultimate "mission in life.")

TO HOOVER: A slang term meaning to eat very fast and too much.

e.g. "He pigged out by Hoovering up all the cheeseburgers.”


FAT ELVIS was kind of a human Hoover vacuum cleaner when he ate.
(Learn from his mistakes!)


So friends and neighbors, step away from the trough, diet guru Daniel Worona is about to show you the "LITE"!!!!

EAT RIGHT, OR DIE(t)!!!, that's my motto.

Woriginal Original Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



A COMIC ELVIS POEM by MARY DOERR:

FAT ELVIS (THERE’S MORE TO LOVE!!!)

Now I don't mean
To sound lewd
But I just really
Loved food

I ate all day long
And into the night
You know...all my fancy costumes
Got way too tight

Thank you... thank you very much!!

By Mary L. Doerr



This has been the #1 DIET HUMOR Web site in the world for nearly twenty (20) years.



Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.


EAT RIGHT, EAT "LITE"!!! 

Woriginal Original Daniel L. Worona "Rare Bird"

Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!! 



ELVIS CHOCOLATE JOKE:

Q: WHAT WAS ELVIS' FAVORITE TYPE OF CHOCOLATE?

A: CHOCOLATE COVERED CHOCOLATE.


FUNNY ELVIS PRESLEY "DOWN HOME" RECIPES: FOOL'S GOLD SANDWICH:

"Elvis ate two Fool’s Gold sandwiches every night. That’s a jar of peanut butter, a jar of strawberry jam, and a pound of bacon on a loaf of hollowed out bread. That’s after dinner."



WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona not only makes you laugh, he also makes you think!!!

1. Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona advises: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ... and only half of what you see.

2. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."
--Abraham Lincoln

3. IF YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, YOU BETTER NOT READ.

4. YES, INDEED! TAKE HEED WHEN YOU READ!!!

-Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona


There has been a lot of "baloney" written about Elvis' eating habits. Take heed when you read.

Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

 Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.



FUNNY ELVIS PRESLEY JOKE:

ELVIS VERSUS GODZILLA

Eating Habits:

Godzilla: Would eat anything.

Elvis: Would eat anything fried.

Eating Habits:

Godzilla: Has eaten the building.

Elvis: Has eaten everything in the building.



FUNNY ELVIS PRESLEY KNOCK KNOCK JOKE:

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Elvis.

Elvis who?

How soon they forget.



ELVIS PRESLEY PHILOSOPHY "LIFE QUOTE":

LIVING THE MOMENT:

You only pass through this life once. You don't come back for an encore.

--ELVIS





Please send me some ELVIS PRESLEY JOKES, ELVIS FAT JOKES, FUNNY ELVIS POEMS, and FUNNY ELVIS LIMERICKS, and so on.

My e-mail address is at the bottom of this page.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

Daniel Worona



ELVIS TRIVIA:

Elvis’s income dropped from nearly $500,000 a month to $78 a month after he was drafted into the U.S. Army on Dec. 19, 1957.

Look on the bright side: It was a much lower tax bracket.



Elvis's 1956 two-sided hit, "HOUND DOG" / "DON'T BE CRUEL," is the most popular jukebox selection of all time.



GET REEL!!! (It's a pun, not a typo.)

Elvis’ favorite movie, supposedly, was James Dean’s Rebel Without a Cause, which he supposedly memorized line by line.

(DANIEL WORONA'S WORDS OF WISDOM: Just because someone says something, that doesn't make it true.)

NOTE: Many comments are just a figure of speech, not meant to be taken literally. Elvis was an usher as a teenager and saw the film Rebel Without a Cause over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Many of Elvis's comments are distorted. (I can give you many examples.)



ELVIS PRESLEY QUOTE:

HIS LIFE STORY:

I hope I didn't bore you too much with my life story.

--ELVIS PRESLEY



They put me on television. And the whole thing broke loose. It was wild, I tell ya for sure.

--ELVIS PRESLEY

FUNNY ELVIS PRESLEY FACTS:

He loved to eat fried peanut butter & banana sandwiches. I'm sure you knew that but, what the hay.



 TOM SWIFTIES: ELVIS PRESLEY.

"Elvis is dead," reported Tom expressly.




 




ELVIS PRESLEY HUMOR & JOKES: Anybody got a good ELVIS FOOD OR DIET JOKE? Send it to me... the sooner the better.

FAT ELVIS JOKES

DON'T GET "ALL SHOOK UP!"



OBESE ELVIS:

Elvis weighed approximately 230lbs when he died. His normal weight averaged 165-175lbs. His weight had soared because of poor eating habits, inactivity and bloating from the massive amounts of prescription drugs he had been taking. (And don't forget all that "butter.")

He certainly didn't look like himself, the bloating in his face was very apparent and changed his looks more than the weight gain alone.




ELVIS PRESLEY HUMOR & JOKES & RIDDLES & PUNS:

DIETS WE KNOW AND LOVE:

1. ELVIS LOVED THE LOW-CARB DIET.
"WHENEVER I FEEL LOW, I EAT CARBS."

2. THE ELVIS DIET ("A KILER DIET"):
Eat anything and everything you like, and get really, really fat. Thank you very much.
Not recommended by the AMA, but who cares!


As described in the UK Sunday Times, 24th December, 1995, page 3, the article, revealed: "The Elvis Presley Killer Diet"

Elvis Presley's daily diet would fuel the normal man for a month.

The not-so-funny Elvis Presley Diet:

THE ELVIS DIET ("ELVIS THE PELVIS" KING OF ROCK & ROLL):

Breakfast (5 pm) - 5,000 calories
Six large eggs cooked in butter with extra salt, 1 lb of bacon, half a
pound of sausages, 12 buttermilk biscuits.

Dinner (10 pm) - umpteen calories (I can't count that high).
Two "Fool's Gold" sandwiches [a jar of peanut butter, a jar of
strawberry jam, one pound of crisp-fried bacon on a baguette x2.

Supper (4 am) - 5,000 calories
Five double-hamburgers and deep-fried peanut butter, mashed banana
sandwiches.

Misc. - other snacks as required between meals.
As described in the UK Sunday Times, 24th December, 1995, page 3, the article, revealed: "The Elvis Presley Killer Diet"
Elvis Presley's daily diet would fuel the normal man for a month.

Misc. - other snacks as required between meals.

Thankyouverymuch.



ELVIS PRESLEY JOKES, PUNS, RIDDLES, SONGS & MORE:

FUNNY ELVIS JOKE by Daniel Worona

ELVIS' NUMBER ONE BULIMIC & ANOREXIC SONG:

"ARE YOU HUNGRY TONIGHT?"



"WOR" IS COMING!!! 

Experience: Daniel "WOR" Worona is a diet guru and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and diet humorist.


ELVIS' NUMBER ONE DIET SONG:

"LOVE ME SLENDER"

ELVIS HUMOR Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



ELVIS PRESLEY KNOCK KNOCK JOKE: 

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Wurlitzer.

Wurlitzer who?

Wurlitzer
one for the money, two for the show...


FUNNY ELVIS RIDDLE:

Q: What's green and sings?

A:Elvis Parsley!

ELVIS PUN & FUN:

THE ELVIS STEAKHOUSE: "LOVE ME TENDER"

Did you hear about the new line of Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses?
They will be for people who love meat tender.

ELVIS PRESLEY HUMOR:

ELVIS' FAMOUS LAST WORDS:

She won't mind if I take the last piece of chocolate.



FAT ELVIS JOKES:

Even the King of Rock n' Roll shoulda "et more better."

FAT ELVIS JOKES:

In the meantime, it is your turn, how about you all e-mail me a few OBESE ELVIS JOKES?
Daniel “WOR” Worona (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)


LEGAL NOTICE:

NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.
 

Thank you very much,

Daniel L. Worona





ELVIS PRESLEY



FAT ELVIS JOKES:

Q: What was FAT ELVIS' favorite romantic song?

A. BABY, BABY, BABY (BABY BACK RIBS).




ELVIS PRESLEY HUMOR AND  ELVIS JOKES


FUNNY ELVIS QUOTES:

1. Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine.

2. "People ask me where I got my singing style. I didn't copy my style from anybody . . . . Country music was always an influence on my kind of music."



DUMB, STOOPID, LAME, CORNY ELVIS JOKE:

*******************************************
Q: What is the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?

A: Elvis has been sighted!



What was Elvis Presley's worst song?

A: "Queenie Wahine's Papaya" from 1966's Paradise, Hawaiian Style will have to fit the bill.

Or maybe it was: “Yoga Is As Yoga Does”. Take your pick.



ELVIS ONE-LINERS: PHILADELPHIA, June 23, 1974, A.S.: "Don't do that after just eating breakfast..." Elvis says, after finishing Polk Salad Annie.
LAS VEGAS, August 20, 1970, M.S.: "You give me hope and constipation..."

ELVIS VS. JESUS

The similarities between Jesus Christ and Elvis Presley are almost uncanny. Just check the following parallels for yourself!

Jesus said "Love thy neighbor." Elvis said "Don't be cruel."

Jesus is the Lord's shepherd. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

Jesus was part of the Trinity. Elvis' first band was a trio.

Jesus walked on water. Elvis surfed (Blue Hawaii, 1965).

Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

Jesus was resurrected. Elvis had the famous 1968 "Comeback" TV special and many posthumous mall sightings.

Jesus said "If a man thirst, let him come to me, and drink." (John 7:37). Elvis said "Drinks on me" (Jail House Rock, 1957).

Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights. Elvis also had irregular eating habits (eg, 5 banana split breakfast).

Jesus is a Capricorn (Dec 25). Elvis is a Capricorn (Jan8).

Matthew was a biographer of Jesus. Neil Matthews was a biographer of Elvis (A Golden Tribute).

"Jesus countenance...like lightning...raiment snow white." (Matthew 28:3) Elvis wore snow white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

Jesus lived in a state of grace in a near-eastern land. Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

Jesus' mother Mary had an immaculate conception. Elvis' wife Priscilla went to Immaculate Conception H.S.

People called Jesus a "...glutton and a drunk." (Luke 7:34) People called Elvis "...an overweight druggie...".

Jesus died for us. Young girls would 'die for' Elvis.

Jesus was born in humble surroundings. Elvis was born in Mississippi.

Even today Jesus has a cult following. Even today Elvis has a cult following.

Jesus was called "King of Israel.." (John 12:13) Elvis was called "King of Rock n' Roll."



THE ELVIS COMPUTER VIRUS:

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.



ELVIS PRESLEY KNOCK KNOCK JOKE:

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Elvis!

Elvis who?

Elvis-eeing you around soon, macaroon!



ELVIS LIGHTBULB JOKE:

How many paranoid delusionals does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? Why do you want to know? Who sent you? Elvis, is that you?





ELVIS THE PELVIS... THE HILLBILLY CAT (July 1954)
WORST-CASE SCENARIO:

DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
 

Who loses?  Not me!   YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.

Would you like to enjoy my more than 333,333.33 DIET HUMOR sayings collection?

You will when I am published!!!
 

SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help. 

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:

Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

PLEASE NOTE: I answer ALL e-mails, however, I do NOT do INSTANT MESSAGING.

(Sorry, but all my free time is used for researching DIET HUMOR. Please e-mail me if you have a question or suggestion.)

Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis"

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

PLEASE NOTE: My name is NOT Author Anonymous, nor AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

 



LAUGH IT OFF DIET.


IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT 1949-2017 Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird"). 

(Online since: June 7, 1999.)


The world's #1 DIET HUMOR Web site for nearly twenty (20) years: danworona.50megs.com.