WEIGHT WATCHERS JOKES & HUMOR

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DIETING & HEALTH SECRET by DIET GURU DANIEL L. WORONA

DIET, HEALTH AND GOOD POSTURE:

SIT UP STRAIGHT.

Never slouch, as doing so compresses the lungs, and squashes other vital organs.

THIS AIN'T NO JOKE!!!

FUNNY WEIGHT WATCHERS JOKES:

WEIGHT WATCHERS JOKES:

1. I'm on Weight Watchers AND Jenny Craig because the one wasn't giving me enough food.

2. Are you sure the Girl Scouts don't secretly work for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig?

WEIGHT WATCHERS PUN:

There are a whole lotta weight watchers on a global scale.

WEIGHT WATCHERS LAUGHS GALORE AND MORE:

What do you call people who watch other people diet?

Weight watchers.

FUNNY WEIGHT WATCHES GUT BUSTER:

Speech therapy and Weight Watchers proved to be the death of Porky Pig's career.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Who's there?

BOO.

Boo who?

Don't cry. It's only a joke.

THIN-SPIRATION MOTIVATIONAL & INSPIRATIONAL SAYINGS:

HEALTH IS WEALTH.

DON'T DOUBLE YOUR TROUBLES (BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR):

I guess I don't mind so much being old, as I mind being fat and old. If a woman could have half of her wishes, she would double her troubles.

HEALTH QUOTE:

Eat wholesome food for the health of it!!!

HA! HA! WEIGHT WATCHERS HUMOR:

FAT QUOTE: WATCH OUT!!! (EAT SENSIBLY!!!)

Watch out when you're getting all you want. Fattening hogs ain't in luck.

Old fashioned American humor quote.

RESUME OF DIET HUMORIST, DIET AND FITNESS GURU DANIEL L. WORONA:

EXPERIENCE: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru, obesity expert, wellness expert and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). He has been "well taught." His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, and linguist.

Daniel L. Worona, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!!

WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA

PLEASE NOTE: My name is NOT Author Anonymous, nor AUTHOR UNKNOWN.

 

WITTY LIFE QUOTE:

LIFE IS WONDERFUL
(Without it you're dead.)

HEALTH WORDPLAY QUOTE:

"LAUGH FOR THE HEALTH OF IT!"
A CHUCKLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY.
LAUGHTER IS AN INSTANT VACATION.
HOW TO HAVE A HEALTHY LIFE ZINGER:

A woman walked up to a wrinkled, old obese man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What’s your secret for a long happy life?"
 
He said, "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat tons of fatty foods, and I never

exercise."
 
"That’s amazing," said the woman. "How old are you?"
 
"Twenty-four."

WEIGHT WATCHERS HUMOR

LETTUCE PUN:

Lettuce go to the salad bar.

ANOTHER RANDOM BEER JOKE:

LAWYER JOKE:

How to tell you have a BAD Lawyer:

He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

WEIGHT WATCHERS JOKES GALORE AND MORE

WEIGHT WATCHERS HUMOR

ZANY HILAROSCOPE HOROSCOPE:

You will have much luck and a little hardship.

Or the other way around.

I will continue to add DIET HUMOR to this Web site, however, I will not be posting the "PRIMO", or "THE BEST OF THE BEST" of my more than 65-year DIET HUMOR collection. I am saving the "CREME DE LA CREME" of my DIET HUMOR collection for when my DIET HUMOR collection is published in book form.

Wanted: OBESITY JOKES, OBESITY HUMOUR, ANTI-OBESITY JOKES, FUNNY OBESITY ONE LINERS, OBESITY LIMERICKS, OBESITY POEMS, OBESITY PUNS, OBESITY RIDDLES, OBESITY SATIRE, OBESITY SPOOFS, FUNNY OBESITY QUOTES, FAT JOKES & FAT HUMOR. Please e-mail me and I will share.

Send me a FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS JOKE and you will lose weight instantly.

Don't believe me? Try it!!!

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

Please include the words "DIET HUMOR"or "WEIGHT LOSS JOKE" in the Subject line, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.


BE POSITIVE MUSING:

I missed my workout this morning, but on the upside, I'm still breathing.

Mr. Optimistic

DIET JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!!:

Daniel Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A lifelong compilation of umpteen thousands of DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day. Plus-plus thousand's of Woriginal original diet humor sayings, diet puns, diet jokes, diet limericks, diet laughter, diet quotes, diet riddles, obesity humor, obesity jokes, fat jokes and fat humor / humour by Daniel L. Worona. 

WEIGHT WATCHERS RIDDLE:

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WHO ABANDONED HIS STRICT DIET?


A: DESSERTER!

FUNNIE / FUNNEE / FUNNY WEIGHT WATCHERS JOKE:

I have never participated in the Running of the Bulls, but once I was standing in front of a Weight Watchers building when the fire alarm went off.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Who's there?

BOO.

Boo who?

Don't cry. It's only a joke.

WEIGHT WATCHERS POEM:
 
Welcome to Weight Watchers
You’re in the right place
To shed all your weight
But at your own pace.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WEIGHT WATCHERS MEMBER WHEN:

You stop licking postage stamps when you realize you can't calculate their point values.

You take off your earrings before you weigh in.

You wear the lightest clothes you own to get weighed.

HINKY PINKY:

A sick stomach is a CRUMMY TUMMY.

GIRL SCOUNT COOKIES JOKE:

Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year's resolutions.

LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird"). 
(Online since: June 7, 1999.)

DIET HUMOR WEBSITE:

NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:

If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit.

LEGAL NOTICE:

NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

Thank you very much,

Daniel L. Worona

Many DIET HUMOR SAYINGS, DIET JOKES and MOTIVATIONAL DIET SAYINGS are "hidden" throughout this Web site.

MAKE SURE YOU READ THE WHOLE PAGE!!!

THIS IS A HOBBY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE.

YOU ARE SAFE. I AM NOT SELLING ANYTHING.

My E-mail address is: dworona@yahoo.com        

Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me.

PLEASE NOTE: My YAHOO E-MAIL ADDRESS is 100% SECURE.

The connection to the YAHOO server is encrypted.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

YOU’RE #1!

Have you seen my latest webpage: You’re #1!

Just click on the “hot” link at the top of the page: You’re #1!

Of course you are!!! Everyone knows that.

RE: E-MAILING DAN WORONA.

PLEASE BE ADVISED: My website E-mail link (50MEGS server) is broken.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

If you want to contact me, YOU WILL HAVE TO TYPE MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IN MANUALLY. (or do a COPY & PASTE)

My E-mail address is: “dworona@yahoo.com” without the quotes.