| OBESITY HUMOR & OBESITY JOKES |
OBESITY HUMOR AND OBESITY JOKES
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OBESITY JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!! FUNNY OBESITY HUMOR: LAUGH OFF THE POUNDS. IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!! OBESITY WORDPLAY AND TRUISM OF THE YEAR: OBESITY IS THE HIGH-WEIGH TO HELL! WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA PLEASE NOTE: My name is NOT Author Anonymous, nor AUTHOR UNKNOWN. HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIETING!!! GUARANTEED!!! by Coach Daniel L. Worona When you follow Daniel Worona's healthy eating lifestyle, weight loss is an automatic side effect. SIDE EFFECTS: 1. ADIOS LOVE-HANDLES! 2. WHITTLE YOUR MIDDLE! 3. REDUCE YOUR PROFUSE CABOOSE! You're welcome! NUTRITION AND FITNESS COACH: DANIEL L. WORONA BEST NEW OBESITY JOKES: BEST NEW “OBESITY IS A DISEASE” JOKE: BEST NEW “OBESITY IS NOT A DISEASE” JOKE: OBESITY IS A DISEASE JOKE: UPDATED OBESITY IS A DISESE JOKE: BEST OBESITY IS A DISEASE PUN… (PLEASE NOTE: "Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!) Please eat HEALTHY and stay WELL-THY. OBESITY PUN (byDaniel Worona) OBESITY EXPLAINED IN PLAIN ENGLISH: How does a woman go from a slender size 8 to a big fat size 16? It's simple math: She 8 and 8 (ATE AND ATE). (8 + 8 = 16) (And ate plus ate = (size) 16.) That's all. You're welcome. Woriginal "version" by diet guru and diet humorist, Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. HEFTY HUMOR (A HOWLER): CHILDHOOD OBESITY JOKE: OBESITY IS A DISEASE KNEE SLAPPER: DIABETES, HEART DISEASE & OBESITY ONE-LINER: FUNNY STUPIDITY IS A DISEASE JOKE: FUNNY STUPID IS A DISEASE JOKE: FUNNY STUPID IS A MORTAL DISEASE JOKE: FUNNY STUPIDITY IS NOT A DISEASE JOKE / ONE-LINER: OBESITY DIET DROPOUT JOKE: Here is my latest OBESITY PUN: OBESITY SLOGAN: IS THAT DOUGHNUT WORTH THE GIRTH?
WORIGINAL DANIEL L. WORONA "RARE BIRD" MARY SODA-POPpins sings: WELCOME TO THE FATTEST OBESITY HUMOR COLLECTION IN THE WORLD.
Overweight people are now average: -Jay Leno I want to share this lifelong collection of diet humor sayings with YOU. (Please read on to find out how.)
DIET HUMOR, DIET GURU AND WELLNESS EXPERT DANIEL L. WORONA Experience: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru, anti-obesity activist and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and humorist. You are about to enjoy Daniel Worona's "LAUGH IT OFF" DIET and OBESITY HUMOR.
WEIGHT LOSS TIP 100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise! OBESITY HUMOR / HUMOUR & OBESITY JOKES: FUNNY OBESITY T-SHIRT: FUNNY OBESITY QUOTES: 1. IF BEING OVERWEIGHT IS A SIGN OF WEALTH, THEN I AM FILTHY RICH. 2. ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY. ASK WHAT'S FOR LUNCH. 3. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE DEPRESSED, WEIGH YOURSELF IN GRAMS. 4. I'M ON A GRAPEFRUIT DIET. I EAT EVERYTHING BUT GRAPEFRUIT. 5. OBESITY IS A DYING "WEIGH" OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly.)
OBESITY JOKE: Jelly Roll: A few years ago Big Bertha had a tummy tuck. The operation took nearly six hours. Suzy Doozy: Why did it take so long? Jelly Roll: It took the doctors four hours to get her on the operating table. GLUTTONY ZINGER: Old gluttons never die, they just waist away. WELLNESS GIRTH MIRTH by DIET GURU DANIEL WORONA: OBESITY IS THE HIGH-WEIGH TO HELL. AND DANIEL WORONA'S DIET PLAN IS THE HIGHWAY TO WELL (...WELLNESS).
HEALTH IS WELL-TH! WORIGINAL by DANIEL L. WORONA OBESITY PUN: THE THREE HUNDRED POUND FAT LADY LOST TEN POUNDS. WORIGINAL PUN by DANIEL L. WORONA
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WARNING: OBESITY MAY HAVE "GRAVE" CONSEQUENCES. -Daniel Worona
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CHILDHOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC: In her fight against childhood obesity, first lady Michelle Obama is urging communities to make fresh produce more available to young people, even in liquor stores. If your kid is hanging out at the liquor store, obesity is the least of your problems. IF IT TASTES GOOD, IT'S TRYING TO KILL YOU. FUNNY (maybe not) TOMBSTONE INSCRIPTION: WARNING: OBESITY MAY HAVE "GRAVE" CONSEQUENCES!!! Woriginal original saying by Daniel L. Worona (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) |
CHILDHOOD OBESITY HUMOR & OBESITY JOKES
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CHILDHOOD OBESITY HUMOR & CHILDHOOD OBESITY JOKES Teacher: When you think of Greece, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Chubby student: French fries. OBESITY KNOCK, KNOCK JOKE: Knock, knock. CHILDHOOD OBESITY POEM: HENRY ATE A HOT DOG ANTI-OBESITY JOKE: Apparently Michelle Obama has declared a war on childhood obesity. NBC is trying to support the First Lady by developing a reality show on the topic called, "The Littlest Biggest Loser." So did you hear about Michelle Obama declaring war on childhood obesity? That right, that’s right. Ya, so she says whichever kid loses the most weight gets to have lunch with Kirstie Allie at Karl’s Jr. --JAY LENO ANTI-OBESITY HUMOR: "First Lady Michelle Obama just launched a campaign to combat childhood obesity called 'Let's Move.' And this evening, obese children started their own program called 'Let's Not.'" OBESITY KNOCK, KNOCK JOKE: WHO'S THERE? OBESITY. OBESITY WHO? OBESITY IS NOT A JOKE, IT'S A WAKE-UP CALL.
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WARNING: OBESITY MAY HAVE "GRAVE" CONSEQUENCES. Daniel L. Worona
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FUNNY OBESITY RIDDLE: Q: WHAT DID ONE POTATO CHIP SAY TO THE OTHER?A: LET'S GO FOR A DIP. FUNNY OBESITY POEM: "I'LL DIET TOMORROW" by MARY DOERR "Here lies the body He ate too many carbs |
OBESITY HUMOR
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CHOCOLATE OBESITY HUMOR Q. HOW MANY CALORIES ARE THERE IN A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE? |
I'VE GOT THE PROBLEM LICKED!!!
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OBESITY LIMERICK Failing diets, the youth was obese
OBESE WIFE JOKE BIG BERTHATA SAYS: “FAT IS WHERE IT’S AT”.
FAT GUT JOKE: My 6-pack is very precious to me. That’s why I protect it with a layer of fat. FAT GIRLFRIEND JOKE: My girlfriend hates it when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up. WEIGHT GAIN JOKE: I wanted to lose 10 pounds this year. Only 16 to go. FAT PEOPLE INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE: I always try to encourage fat people. So keep your chins up. A BIG FAT JOKE: OBESITY IS WIDESPREAD JOKE: My wife told me to grow up. I told her I would when she stopped growing sideways. YOU’RE TON’S OF FUN, AIN’TCHA HON? I love you loads, honeypie.” My wife said to me earlier. I replied, “And I love you tons.” “What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed. Sometimes I swear she’s going deaf. FATTY FATTY FAT FAT JOKE JOKE: I was lying in bed with my wife last night. She looked at me seductively and said, “I’m wide awake, babe.” I said, “You’re wide when you’re asleep too.” SHE’S NOT FAT PUN by DANIEL L. WORONA: SHE’S NOT FAT! SHE’S WEIGH BEYOND FAT. METRIC JOKE: 'If you really want to be depressed, weigh yourself in grams'. THE GRAPEFRUIT DIET: 'I'm on a grapefruit diet. I eat everything but grapefruit'. OBESITY QUOTE: Don't let OBESITY get in the WEIGH of your fun. WORIGINAL by Daniel L. Worona "RARA AVIS" OBESITY IS A GRAVE SITUATION!!! Woriginal Daniel Worona WHAT'S THE STORY, MORNING GLORY? Woriginal Daniel L. Worona FUNNY LIFE QUOTE: MAKE SOMEBODY HAPPY TODAY. (Mind your own business.) GLUTTONY JOKE: Q: Do you know what beats INSTANT GRATIFICATION? A: CONSTANT GRATIFICATION. YOU DIDN'T GET THE JOKE! TOO BAD, DAD. DANIEL WORONA'S LAUGH IT OFF DIET MOTTO: DIET GURU DANIEL WORONA'S MOTTO: I LOVE TO MAKE MYSELF LAUGH. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! ALL THE "WEIGH." A BIG FAT THANKSGIVING JOKE: Thanksgiving. A beautiful tradition where families and friends and friends join together to raise America's obesity rates. CHILDHOOD OBESITY HUMOR: Preventing childhood obesity is as easy as taking candy from a baby. OBESITY WORDPLAY: OVERWEIGHT MAN SAYS: I'M not sure if the doctor said I was obese. Or a beast. OBESITY WORDPLAY: LIVE YOUR LIFE IN A HEALTHY "WEIGH." WORIGINAL ORIGINAL by Diet Guru Daniel L Worona
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FOOD POLICE GONNA GETCHA!!!
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THE "WOR" ON OBESITY OBESITY IS AN EVER-EXPANDING PROBLEM. OBESITY: THE PROBLEM ISN'T PEOPLE EATING TOO MUCH, BUT RATHER PEOPLE NOT BURNING OFF ENOUGH CALORIES. --Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona OBESITY IS REALLY WIDESPREAD. --Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona The obesity epidemic: OBESITY IS A GROWING PROBLEM. --Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona OVEREATING HAS HEAVY CONSEQUENCES. --Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona DANIEL WORONA "HONEST DAN" is also a little bit of a philosopher. His more than 70 years of wisdom can be boiled down to one sentence: Boys and girls, ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH! (THEN RUN LIKE HELL!!!). WORIGINAL by DANIEL WORONA |
WIDDLE MY MIDDLE
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OBESITY HUMOR AND OBESITY JOKES LITERARY AGENT & PUBLISHER WANTED TP PUBLISH MY FULL COLLECTION OF DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR SAYINGS, DIET JOKES, WEIGHT LOSS HUMOUR, FAT HUMOUR, and OBESITY HUMOUR: a lifelong collection of 65-plus years compiled by DANIEL WORONA "Rara Avis." Plus-plus thousand's of ORIGINAL diet humor sayings, jokes and quotes by Daniel L. Worona (Most of which has never been published). Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. FUNNY OBESITY SOLUTION: Fat people are everywhere overconsuming and not letting any starving Africans get any food, so to solve the problem, send your fat friends to Africa where they can feed many familys off their lard. THE BEST OBESITY IS A DISEASE HUMOR: FUNNY OBESITY IS A DISEASE HUMOR: JUST WONDERING: What do I gotta do? Kiss a fat girl? HOW TO CATCH THE OBESITY DISEASE ADVICE: Q: Dear Tons of Fun: A: Dear Skinny Minnie: You should also study Sumo Wrestlers, and emulate their habits. You can do it! Sincerely, TONS OF FUN THE BEST OBESITY IS NOT A DISEASE HUMOR: FUNNY OBESITY IS NOT A DISEASE HUMOR: (E-mail me some funny obesity is not a disease humor.) FUNNY OBESITY QUOTES: OBESITY HUMOR WORDPLAY: Good things come to those who wait. But bad things come to those who "weight." WORIGINAL PUN by DANIEL L. WORONA OBESITY IS A DISEASE PUN: FUNNY DOUBLE CHIN JOKES: YO MAMA IS SO ADIPOSE... FUNNY DOUBLE CHIN JOKE: I bet you are the only guy who can play two violins at the same time. DOUBLE CHIN HUMOR:
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NO FAT CATS HERE
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OBESITY & DIET SLOGAN by DANIEL WORONA FOR OVEREATERS OF EVERY SHAPE AND SIZE,THE TIME IS NOW TO... C U S T O M I Z E!!! OBESITY PUNS There is a growing body of obesity research. Get him on a diet? Fat chance! Many people say that obesity, like diarrhea, runs in the jeans. Newspaper headline: “New study on obesity looks for larger test group.”CHILDHOOD OBESITY JOKE: FUNNY AND UNFUNNY OBESITY AND LAZY JOKES: WOMEN’S OBESITY AND LAZINESS HUMOR: LAZY IS A DISEASE HUMOR: MESSAGE TO ONE AND ALL: Yours truly, diet guru and diet humorist, OBESITY PUN: IRONY JOKE:
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THINSPIRATION
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OBESITY NICKNAME: The kids all call him Roly Poly: ANTI-OBESITY PUN: Big pharma sees jumbo profits in anti-obesity pills. Woriginal original by Daniel Worona (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) ("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!!) FUNNY OBESITY QUOTE: "Obesity is a condition which proves that the Lord does not help those who help themselves and help themselves and help themselves." OBESITY: THE PROBLEM ISN'T PEOPLE EATING TOO MUCH, BUT RATHER PEOPLE NOT BURNING OFF ENOUGH CALORIES. (PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.) I will continue to add DIET HUMOR to this Web site, however, I will not be posting the "PRIMO", or "THE BEST OF THE BEST" of my more than 65-year DIET HUMOR collection. I am saving the "CREME DE LA CREME" of my DIET HUMOR collection for when my DIET HUMOR collection is published in book form. Wanted: OBESITY JOKES, OBESITY HUMOUR, ANTI-OBESITY JOKES, FUNNY OBESITY ONE LINERS, OBESITY LIMERICKS, OBESITY POEMS, OBESITY PUNS, OBESITY RIDDLES, OBESITY SATIRE, OBESITY SPOOFS, FUNNY OBESITY QUOTES, FAT JOKES & FAT HUMOR. Please e-mail me and I will share. Send me a FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS JOKE and you will lose weight instantly. ANTI-OBESITY (The opposite extreme): ...you check your vitamin labels for calories. ...you find out toothpaste has 15 calories and you don't brush your teeth for 4 days. ...you turn down food by saying"no, thanks, I ate yesterday" and wonder why people look at you strangely. ..you watch cooking shows the way other people watch horror movies. ...you worry that even the scent of food has calories. ...you don't think any of the above things are strange. Anorexia is NOT the "WEIGH" to go!!! I wish you "WELL." (WELL, WELL, WELLNESS.) Woriginal original by diet guru Daniel Worona HEALTH IS WEALTH. Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!! OBESITY FUN FACTS: OBESITY IS NO FUN! THAT'S A FACT! Woriginal original by Daniel Worona DUMB OBESITY QUESTIONS: Q: IS SANTA CLAUS OBESE? What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? A: Crisp Cringle. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!!! FUNNY OPRAH WINFREY QUOTE: "My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato." Quote by ZACK A. POTATOES (a.k.a. "SPUD") FUNNY OPRAH WINFREY SHOW JOKE: THE GOOD NEWS: Everyone in the audience will receive a fabulous gift! THE BAD NEWS: It's her book of diet tips. OPRAH WINFREY JOKES From "Things overheard at the New York City marathon": "WOR" IS COMING!!! DIET GURU: DANIEL "WOR" WORONA: "He has forgotten more about dieting than most of you will ever know about dieting." OBESITY ANAGRAM: Anagram: An anagram is a rearrangement of the letters of one word or phrase to form another word or phrase. Dine out, taste a Mac, fries. DIABETES JOKE: A diabetic walks into a bakery as asks the girl behind the counter, "What do you have that is safe for diabetics?" OBESITY AND DIABETES JOKE: OVERWEIGHT JOKES: If being overweight is a sign of wealth, then I am filthy rich. I'm not fat, I'm just big boned. WILLPOWER JOKE: A beggar walked up to a chubby woman on the street and exclaimed, "Lady, I haven't eaten in a week." "Wow!" exclaimed the zaftig woman, "I wish I had your will power." ANTI-OBESITY SLOGAN: OVEREATING IS SELF-DEFEATING. Woriginal original Daniel Worona FAT AND OBESITY EUPHEMISMS: OVERWEIGHT KIDS JOKE: Michelle Obama said that obesity is a national security threat because 1 in 4 young people are too overweight to join the military. Couldn’t we just have a separate fat army to fight in countries that don’t have hills? MY FAVORITE ANIMAL: The girl replied with enthusiasm, "Fried chicken!" GLUTTONY JOKE: There's nothing wrong with gluttony, providing you don't overdo it. HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE JOKE What's a vampire's favorite fast food? OPRAH WINFREY YO-YO DIETS JOKE: After 24 years and 1,800 pounds of yo-yo diets, Oprah’s final season is upon us. ATKINS DIET ZINGER: Lady Gaga won eight awards at the VMAs and showed up covered in actual meat. This Atkins diet is getting out of control. CELLULITE JOKES THE FOLLOWING COMBINATIONS DO NOT GO TOGETHER: 1. Mini skirts and support hose. FASHION JOKES MINI SKIRT JOKE: She tried it on, but couldn’t figure out what to do with her other leg. WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE? -Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona DUKAN DIET JOKES & DUKAN DIET HUMOR: “Dukamaniacs” (as they're dubbed) can eat anything they want, provided they return to phase one’s protein, oat bran, and water regimen one day per week. It's very similar to the Atkins diet, except it focuses on lean protein. DUKAN DIET JOKE: THE DO-CAN’T DIET: But some health experts warn of nutritional hazards of the Dukan Diet: “We call it the ‘Do-can’t’ diet,” Sian Porter, a dietitian and spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association. IF U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM! To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends: I apologize if I offended you in any weigh, shape, or form. Daniel L. Worona (This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona) TIME OUT FOR THIS MESSAGE: DO YOU WANT TO READ MY ENTIRE DIET HUMOR, FAT HUMOR, FITNESS HUMOR and OBESITY HUMOR COLLECTION? NOTE: MORE OBESITY HUMOR DOWN BELOW WORST-CASE SCENARIO: Do you want to enjoy my big fat DIET HUMOR sayings collection? You will when I am published!!! SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help. LAUGH IT OFF DIET. IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. COPYRIGHT Daniel L. Worona "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird"). I AM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING. AGE 78. FUNNY OBESITY STUDY: FUNNY NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: New study of obesity looks for larger test group. OBESITY SLOGANS: LARGE AND IN CHARGE PEOPLE HUMOR BUTTONS: If this was the 1500s I’d be a goddess. I have FATTITUDE and I know how to use it. Largely adipositive! When this fat lady sings, it’s just getting started. I’m not fat, I’m epic. BIBLE HUMOR: BIBLE VERSES ON OBESITY: Proverbs 23:20 Do not be with heavy drinkers of wine, or with gluttonous eaters of meat. Philippians 3:19 Their end is destruction, whose god is their appetite (their belly), and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things. POINT OF VIEW: You can find what you look for. Does the Bible condone obesity? Book of Mormon: 2 Nephi 9:51 This verse says, "And let your soul delight in fatness." All I can say is: AMEN! PRAISE THE LARD! Daniel L. Worona [So sad, Galahad.] Eat as much as you want, just don’t swallow it. THIS IS A HOBBY DIET HUMOR WEBSITE. YOU ARE SAFE. I AM NOT SELLING ANYTHING. My E-mail address is: dworona@yahoo.com Please include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread. Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me. PLEASE NOTE: My YAHOO E-MAIL ADDRESS is 100% SECURE. The connection to the YAHOO server is encrypted. Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. YOU’RE #1! Have you seen my latest webpage: You’re #1! Just click on the “hot” link at the top of the page: You’re #1! Of course you are!!! Everyone knows that. RE: E-MAILING DAN WORONA.
Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com. If you want to contact me, YOU WILL HAVE TO TYPE MY E-MAIL ADDRESS IN MANUALLY. (or do a COPY & PASTE) My E-mail address is: “dworona@yahoo.com” without the quotes.
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