OBESITY HUMOR & OBESITY JOKES

OBESITY HUMOR

OBESITY JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!!

Daniel Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A lifelong compilation by Daniel Worona of over 200,000 DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day.

LAUGH OFF THE POUNDS.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!!
This has been the number one DIET HUMOR, OBESITY HUMOR and OVERWEIGHT HUMOR website for nearly ten years.
The news media doesn't call me THE WORLD'S GREATEST DIET HUMORIST
and THE WORLD'S GREATEST DIET GURU for nothing.

(I have to pay them a lot of money $$$ to say that!!!)
Here is my latest OBESITY PUN:

Don't let OBESITY get in the WEIGH of your fun.

Woriginal original by DANIEL L. WORONA
WELCOME TO THE FATTEST OBESITY HUMOR COLLECTION IN THE WORLD.
Overweight people are now average:

“Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution."

-Jay Leno

I want to share this lifelong collection of more than 200, 000 diet humor sayings with YOU.

(Please read on to find out how.)
DIET HUMOR, DIET GURU AND WELLNESS EXPERT DANIEL L. WORONA

Experience: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru, anti-obesity activist and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and humorist.

You are about to enjoy Daniel Worona's "LAUGH IT OFF" DIET and OBESITY HUMOR.
(It's a funny way to lose weight.)
WEIGHT LOSS TIP
(from obesity guru: Daniel Worona)

100 laughs a day is equal to 10 minutes of exercise!
How can it can get any easier than that?

OBESITY HUMOR / HUMOUR & OBESITY JOKES:
FUNNY OBESITY T-SHIRT:

MY WIFE IS A GREAT LOVER
(Of cakes!!!)
FUNNY OBESITY QUOTES:

1. IF BEING OVERWEIGHT IS A SIGN OF WEALTH, THEN I AM FILTHY RICH.

2. ASK NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY. ASK WHAT'S FOR LUNCH.

3. IF YOU REALLY WANT TO BE DEPRESSED, WEIGH YOURSELF IN GRAMS.

4. I'M ON A GRAPEFRUIT DIET. I EAT EVERYTHING BUT GRAPEFRUIT.

5. OBESITY IS A DYING "WEIGH" OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly.)
-Daniel Worona CHIEF OF THE FOOD POLICE

OBESITY JOKE:

Jelly Roll: A few years ago Big Bertha had a tummy tuck. The operation took nearly six hours.

Suzy Doozy: Why did it take so long?

Jelly Roll: It took the doctors four hours to get her on the operating table.

GLUTTONY ZINGER:

Old gluttons never die, they just waist away.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

WARNING: OBESITY MAY HAVE "GRAVE" CONSEQUENCES. -Daniel Worona

CHILDHOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC:

In her fight against childhood obesity, first lady Michelle Obama is urging communities to make fresh produce more available to young people, even in liquor stores. If your kid is hanging out at the liquor store, obesity is the least of your problems.

FUNNY OBESITY ADVICE:

IF IT TASTES GOOD, IT'S TRYING TO KILL YOU.
FUNNY (maybe not) TOMBSTONE INSCRIPTION:

WARNING: OBESITY MAY HAVE "GRAVE" CONSEQUENCES!!!
Woriginal original saying by Daniel L. Worona
(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

CHILDHOOD OBESITY HUMOR & OBESITY JOKES

CHILDHOOD OBESITY HUMOR & CHILDHOOD OBESITY JOKES

Teacher: When you think of Greece, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Chubby student: French fries.

OBESITY KNOCK, KNOCK JOKE:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Russel.
Russell who?
Russell me up something to eat.

CHILDHOOD OBESITY POEM:

HENRY ATE A HOT DOG
HIS EYES ROLLED UP ABOVE.
HENRY ATE A DOZEN MORE
AND DIED OF PUPPY LOVE.

ANTI-OBESITY JOKE: Apparently Michelle Obama has declared a war on childhood obesity. NBC is trying to support the First Lady by developing a reality show on the topic called, "The Littlest Biggest Loser." So did you hear about Michelle Obama declaring war on childhood obesity? That right, that’s right. Ya, so she says whichever kid loses the most weight gets to have lunch with Kirstie Allie at Karl’s Jr.
--JAY LENO
ANTI-OBESITY HUMOR:
"First Lady Michelle Obama just launched a campaign to combat childhood obesity called 'Let's Move.' And this evening, obese children started their own program called 'Let's Not.'"
--Jimmy Fallon

WARNING: OBESITY MAY HAVE "GRAVE" CONSEQUENCES. Daniel L. Worona

FUNNY OBESITY RIDDLE:

Q: WHAT DID ONE POTATO CHIP SAY TO THE OTHER?
A: LET'S GO FOR A DIP.
FUNNY OBESITY POEM: "I'LL DIET TOMORROW"
by MARY DOERR
"Here lies the body
Of I. Ben Eating"
He ignored diet guru Daniel Worona's advice
And gave his body a beating
He ate too many carbs
He ate too much fat
He ate cookies, pie and cake
That was a big fat mistake

Did he exercise? NO!!
Did he diet? NO!
He was going to do that...
Tomorrow!"

OBESITY HUMOR

CHOCOLATE OBESITY HUMOR

Q. HOW MANY CALORIES ARE THERE IN A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE?
A. WHO CARES?

I'VE GOT THE PROBLEM LICKED!!!

OBESITY LIMERICK

Failing diets, the youth was obese
But his mother was chief of police.
She put him in jail,
Saying, "Here is a scale.
Losing fifty will win your release."

Mary E. Moore

FOOD POLICE GONNA GETCHA!!!

THE "WOR" ON OBESITY

OBESITY QUOTES BY DANIEL "WOR" WORONA (a.k.a. HONEST DAN)

OBESITY IS AN EVER-EXPANDING PROBLEM.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

OBESITY: THE PROBLEM ISN'T PEOPLE EATING TOO MUCH, BUT RATHER PEOPLE NOT BURNING OFF ENOUGH CALORIES.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona
OBESITY IS REALLY WIDESPREAD.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona
The obesity epidemic: OBESITY IS A GROWING PROBLEM.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona
OVEREATING HAS HEAVY CONSEQUENCES.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona
DANIEL WORONA "HONEST DAN" is also a little bit of a philosopher. His more than 70 years of wisdom can be boiled down to one sentence: Boys and girls,

ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH!
(THEN RUN LIKE HELL!!!).

WORIGINAL by DANIEL WORONA

WIDDLE MY MIDDLE

OBESITY HUMOR AND OBESITY JOKES

LITERARY AGENT & PUBLISHER WANTED FOR MORE THAN 200,000 DIET HUMOR / HUMOUR SAYINGS, DIET JOKES, WEIGHT LOSS HUMOUR, FAT HUMOUR, and OBESITY HUMOUR: a lifelong collection of 55-plus years compiled by DANIEL WORONA "Rara Avis." Plus-plus thousand's of ORIGINAL diet humor sayings, jokes and quotes by Daniel L. Worona (Most of which has never been published).

IF YOU CAN HELP ME TO GET PUBLISHED, PLEASE E-MAIL ME.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.
FUNNY OBESITY SOLUTION:
Fat people are everywhere overconsuming and not letting any starving Africans get any food, so to solve the problem, send your fat friends to Africa where they can feed many familys off their lard.

NO FAT CATS HERE

OBESITY & DIET SLOGAN by DANIEL WORONA

FOR OVEREATERS OF EVERY SHAPE AND SIZE,
THE TIME IS NOW TO...
                                                   C
                                                     U
                                                       S
                                                         T
                                                          O
                                                            M
                                                              I
                                                               Z
                                                                 E!!!
OBESITY PUNS

There is a growing body of obesity research.

Get him on a diet? Fat chance!

Many people say that obesity, like diarrhea, runs in the jeans.

Newspaper headline: “New study on obesity looks for larger test group.”
CHILDHOOD OBESITY JOKE The Government is really worried about childhood obesity. I don't know what they're going to do about it, though. Maybe strengthen seesaws?

THINSPIRATION

OBESITY NICKNAME:

The kids all call him Roly Poly:
His middle name is Ravioli.

ANTI-OBESITY PUN

Big pharma sees jumbo profits in anti-obesity pills.

Woriginal original by Daniel Worona

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.
FUNNY OBESITY QUOTE:

"Obesity is a condition which proves that the Lord does not help those who help themselves and help themselves and help themselves."

OBESITY: THE PROBLEM ISN'T PEOPLE EATING TOO MUCH, BUT RATHER PEOPLE NOT BURNING OFF ENOUGH CALORIES.
--Woriginal by Daniel L. Worona

(PLEASE NOTE: My name is not Author Anonymous.)

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)

I will continue to add DIET HUMOR to this Web site, however, I will not be posting the "PRIMO", or "THE BEST OF THE BEST" of my more than 55-year DIET HUMOR collection. I am saving the "CREME DE LA CREME" of my DIET HUMOR collection for when my DIET HUMOR collection is published in book form.

Wanted: OBESITY JOKES, OBESITY HUMOUR, ANTI-OBESITY JOKES, FUNNY OBESITY ONE LINERS, OBESITY LIMERICKS, OBESITY POEMS, OBESITY PUNS, OBESITY RIDDLES, OBESITY SATIRE, OBESITY SPOOFS, FUNNY OBESITY QUOTES, FAT JOKES & FAT HUMOR. Please e-mail me and I will share.

Send me a FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS JOKE and you will lose weight instantly.

Don't believe me? Try it!!!

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

Please include the words "DIET HUMOR"or "WEIGHT LOSS JOKE" in the Subject line, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

ANTI-OBESITY (The opposite extreme):

YOU KNOW YOU'RE ANOREXIC WHEN...

...you check your vitamin labels for calories.

...you find out toothpaste has 15 calories and you don't brush your teeth for 4 days.

...you turn down food by saying"no, thanks, I ate yesterday" and wonder why people look at you strangely.

..you watch cooking shows the way other people watch horror movies.

...you worry that even the scent of food has calories.

...you don't think any of the above things are strange.

Anorexia is NOT the "WEIGH" to go!!!

Please eat HEALTHY and stay WELL-THY.

I wish you "WELL." (WELL, WELL, WELLNESS.)

Woriginal original by diet guru Daniel Worona

HEALTH IS WEALTH.

Daniel L. Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!!
OBESITY FUN FACTS:

OBESITY IS NO FUN! THAT'S A FACT!

Woriginal original by Daniel Worona

DUMB OBESITY QUESTIONS:

Q: IS SANTA CLAUS OBESE?

A: DOES A BEAR HAVE HAIR?

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

A: Crisp Cringle.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!!!

FUNNY OPRAH WINFREY QUOTE: "My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato."

Now, after years of eating "great big baked potatoes" (not to mention the tons of butter), she looks like a sack of potatoes!

Quote by ZACK A. POTATOES (a.k.a. "SPUD")

FUNNY OPRAH WINFREY SHOW JOKE:

THE GOOD NEWS: Everyone in the audience will receive a fabulous gift!

THE BAD NEWS: It's her book of diet tips.

OPRAH WINFREY JOKES From "Things overheard at the New York City marathon":
Out of my way, Oprah!

-David Letterman Lampoons
"WOR" IS COMING!!!

Experience: Daniel "WOR" Worona is a diet guru and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and diet humorist.
REVIEWS OF WORLD-FAMOUS DIET GURU: DANIEL "WOR" WORONA:
1. "He has forgotten more about dieting than most of you will ever know about dieting."
2. GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS:
THE GOOD NEWS: Daniel "WOR" Worona's diet concepts are so easy to understand and follow, you'll be back to your normal weight for the rest of your life!!!
THE BAD NEWS: He'll put the diet industry out of business!

OBESITY ANAGRAM:

Anagram: An anagram is a rearrangement of the letters of one word or phrase to form another word or phrase.

Rearranging the letters of 'United States of America' gives:

Dine out, taste a Mac, fries.

DIABETES JOKE:

A diabetic walks into a bakery as asks the girl behind the counter, "What do you have that is safe for diabetics?"

The baker says, "Everything. As long as you don’t put it in your mouth."

OBESITY AND DIABETES JOKE:

I've sure gotten old. I've had two by-pass surgeries. A hip replacement and new knees. I'm fighting obesity, and diabetes. I'm half blind and can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. I take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded or subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia. I have poor circulation and can hardly feel my hands and feet. I can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, and I have lost all my friends.

Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!
OVERWEIGHT JOKES:

If being overweight is a sign of wealth, then I am filthy rich.

I'm not fat, I'm just big boned.

WILLPOWER JOKE:

A beggar walked up to a chubby woman on the street and exclaimed, "Lady, I haven't eaten in a week."

"Wow!" exclaimed the zaftig woman, "I wish I had your will power."

ANTI-OBESITY SLOGAN:

OVEREATING IS SELF-DEFEATING.

Woriginal original Daniel Worona

FAT AND OBESITY EUPHEMISMS:

BUFFET KING / QUEEN.

GRAVITATIONALLY CHALLENGED.

OVERWEIGHT KIDS JOKE:

Michelle Obama said that obesity is a national security threat because 1 in 4 young people are too overweight to join the military. Couldn’t we just have a separate fat army to fight in countries that don’t have hills?
–Jimmy Kimmel

MY FAVORITE ANIMAL:

The teacher asked a somewhat fleshy girl, "What is your favorite animal?"

The overweight girl replied with enthusiasm, "Fried chicken!"

GLUTTONY JOKE:

There's nothing wrong with gluttony, providing you don't overdo it.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE JOKE

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure.

OPRAH WINFREY YO-YO DIETS JOKE:

After 24 years and 1,800 pounds of yo-yo diets, Oprah’s final season is upon us.

ATKINS DIET ZINGER:

Lady Gaga won eight awards at the VMAs and showed up covered in actual meat. This Atkins diet is getting out of control.

CELLULITE JOKES

THE FOLLOWING COMBINATIONS DO NOT GO TOGETHER:

1. Mini skirts and support hose.
2. Speedos and cellulite.
3. Midriff shirts and midriff bulge.
4. Short shorts and varicose veins.

FASHION JOKES
MINI SKIRT JOKE:

When short hemlines came back into fashion, my old girlfriend dug an
old mini skirt out of her closet.

She tried it on, but couldn’t figure out what to do with her other leg.

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE?

Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona not only makes you laugh, he also makes you think!!!

1. Diet guru and diet humorist Daniel L. Worona advises: DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ... and only half of what you see.

2. "The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."
--Abraham Lincoln

3. IF YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ, YOU BETTER NOT READ.

4. YES, INDEED! TAKE HEED WHEN YOU READ!!!
-Woriginal original by Daniel L. Worona

DUKAN DIET JOKES & DUKAN DIET HUMOR: “Dukamaniacs” (as they're dubbed) can eat anything they want, provided they return to phase one’s protein, oat bran, and water regimen one day per week. It's very similar to the Atkins diet, except it focuses on lean protein.

DUKAN DIET JOKE:

Even the word diet is a joke. Diet is what you eat: plain and simple.

THE DO-CAN’T DIET: But some health experts warn of nutritional hazards of the Dukan Diet: “We call it the ‘Do-can’t’ diet,” Sian Porter, a dietitian and spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association.

IF U CN RD THS

U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!

To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends:

I apologize if I offended you in any weigh, shape, or form.

Daniel L. Worona

(This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona)

WORST-CASE SCENARIO:

DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 200,000 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.

Who loses? Not me! YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.
Do you want to enjoy my more than 200,000 DIET HUMOR sayings collection?

You will when I am published!!!

SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help.

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:

Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.