FAT JOKES

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FAT JOKES GALORE AND MORE!!!

FAT JOKES, FAT HUMOR, FAT POEMS, FAT HUMOUR, FAT LIMERICKS, MOTIVATIONAL & INSPIRATIONAL FAT QUOTES and ANTI-FAT JOKES.

I want to share this lifelong collection of more than 250, 000 diet humor sayings with YOU.
(Please read on to find out how.)



To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends:

I apologize beforehand if I offend you in any weigh, shape, or form.

Daniel L. Worona

(This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona)



SKINNY DEFINITION:

If fatty means "full of fat," shouldn't skinny mean "full of skin"?



You will find some "mild" FAT HUMOR, FAT JOKES, FAT PUNS, FUNNY FAT MOTIVATION AND INSPIRATION SAYINGS and FAT QUOTES with the purpose of encouraging you to live a healthy lifestyle. 

Daniel Worona, diet humorist, diet guru, anti-obesity activist, and fitness expert, wishes you a HEALTHIER and WELL-THIER you!!! 

If you overly sensitive to fat jokes, you may want to skip this page and go skip some rope.



This Web page consists of two parts. In the first half, Daniel Worona is "dead serious" and he will SHOCK-IT-TO YOU!!! The second half is the funny stuff.
THE SCARE-THE-FAT-OFF-YOU DIET by Daniel Worona

People who are fat ("overweight", if you prefer) are more likely to:

1. Put undue strain on their heart, knees and other parts of their body.

2. High blood pressure is found more frequently in fatties.

3. Chubbies are at higher risk of type 2 diabetes.

4. Danger! Danger! Danger! Fat people break more chairs.

Blah, blah, blah.

YAWN! Daniel Worona went on and on ad nauseum.

NOTE: If you lose weight, your risk for these conditions is reduced.

(Gee, I might win the ALBERT EINSTEIN AWARD for that brilliant comment.)



Daniel "WOR" Worona’s LAUGH IT OFF DIET: A compilation of over 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES and growing fatter every day.

 




FUNNYFAT JOKE:

A fat lady says to Big Bertha: I have had it with dieting... I lost two pounds last week and nobody noticed.


Send me a FUNNY WEIGHT LOSS JOKE and you will lose weight instantly.

Don't believe me? Try it!!!

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

Please include the words "DIET HUMOR"or "WEIGHT LOSS JOKE" in the Subject line, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.



FAT JOKES



FUNNY FAT HUMOUR ONE LINER

IF WEIGHT IS A NUMBER,
THEN MINE IS UNLISTED.


FAT PUN/ FAT RIDDLE:

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A FAT PERSON?

Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS.

(Wordplay: gel/jell and jealous)
-- a Daniel Worona Woriginal FAT PUN.

("Woriginal": That means, if you put it on your Web site, give Daniel L. Worona credit!!! Don't be a FATHEAD!!!)



FUNNY FAT KID JOKES

FUNNY FAT QUOTE:

IF GOD WANTED US TO GO ON DIETS, HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN US WILLPOWER.



HILARIOUS DIET RUBBER STAMP:

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT KEEPS ME OFF MY DIET...
...FOOD!


Is Elizabeth Taylor fat?

Her favorite food is seconds.

--JOAN RIVERS


YO MAMA IS SO FAT, SHE MAKES RICHARD SIMMONS LOSE HIS ENTHUSIASM.


THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST FAT GIRL SAYS JOKE:

 

FAT GIRL SEZ: Well, it's not my fault God blessed me with a healthy appetite.

 



DIET AND FATTIE DAFFYNITIONS:

FUNNY FAT GIRL YOLO JOKES:

YOLO = You obviously love Oreos.

 

 


DIET JOKES GALORE AND MORE...


LOL FAT JOKES FOR KIDS

FAT KID JOKE:

Q: HOW DO YOU GET A FAT KID TO LOSE WEIGHT?

A: YOU PAY THE ICE CREAM MAN TO KEEP ON DRIVING.


LAUGH OUT LOUD...

YO MAMA SO FAT JOKES...

YO MAMA'S SO FAT THAT WHEN SHE WENT TO DANIEL WORONA'S WEIGHT LOSS CAMP, THERE WAS NO SPACE LEFT FOR ANYONE ELSE!!!


FUNNY YO MOMMA SO FAT JOKES ...

YO MOMMA'S SO FAT HER BELLY JIGGLE IS THE FIRST EVER PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE.


OVERWEIGHT QUOTES & JOKES: I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT, I'M JUST NINE INCHES TOO SHORT.
-Shelly Winters 

Daniel Worona's LAUGH IT OFF DIET: LAUGH YOUR HEAD OFF and LAUGH YOUR FAT OFF at the same time. 
OBESITY IS A DYING "WEIGH" OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly.)
-WORIGINAL QUOTE by Daniel Worona CHIEF OF THE FOOD POLICE

ANOREXIA IS A DYING "WEIGH" OF LIFE. (Please eat sensibly.)
-Woriginal quote by Daniel Worona, CHIEF OF THE FOOD POLICE.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE FAT WHEN...

1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh.
2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size.

3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.


FUNNY MOTIVATION AND INSPIRATION SAYINGS

FUNNY MOTIVATIONAL DIET SAYINGS:

"I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat."

"Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork."

English proverb


FAT RIDDLE

I was born a fat baby on the first day of the year.
I lose a piece of me every month that passes.
When it reaches the end of the year,
I will be nothing but an old skeleton.

What am I?
*
*
*
*
*
*
Answer: I am a calendar.


Experience: Daniel Worona "RARA AVIS" ("Rare Bird") is a diet guru and fitness expert. He is a retired physical education teacher and personal trainer (They didn't call him DAN DAN THE MUSCLE MAN for nothing). His parents were both "health nuts" and taught him well... wellness. Needless to say, he is a published author, wordsmith, linguist and humorist.

NO ONE CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO DULICATING THIS NONESUCH DIET HUMOR COLLECTION.


This is the FATTEST and best diet humor collection in the world!!!

He is looking for a literary agent and major publisher for his collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS and DIET JOKES.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.
I am always happy to receive FUNNY DIET SPOOFS, FUNNY OVERWEIGHT SAYINGS, HILARIOUS FAT LIMERICKS & POEMS, DIET & FAT SATIRE, OBESITY JOKES, ANTI-OBESITY JOKES, FAT JOKES & FAT HUMOR.  Not to mention SKINNY and UNDERWEIGHT JOKES and OBESITY HUMOR... you get the message.
FAT EUPHEMISMS & SYNONYMS:

FULL-BODIED.

She's NO SLENDERELLA.

GRAVITATIONALLY CHALLENGED.

AMPLE.

PLUMP.

BIG BONED.


EATING DISORDER HUMOR & JOKES:

Eating disorders effect tons of Americans.


FAT GUYS RIDDLE:

Riddle: There are two fat guys under an umbrella without either one of them getting wet. How can that be?

A: It was not raining.


FUNNY FAT PEOPLE JOKES:

A humorous weight loss memoir:

I'M WITH FATTY

by EDWARD UGEL

1. BEN & JERRY'S ICE CREAM: The package description read, 
"Sweet Cream Ice Cream
 with Almond Cookies and a Marzipan Swirl."

They had me at "sweet cream."

2. I'm haunted by mirriors. Mirrors are like Kryptonite to a fat person. 

Quotes by Edward Ugel ex-fatso



I do not have a friend in the world to help me get published, EXCEPT YOU.

Why do I need a publisher and a literary agent?: Because... I COULDN'T SELL A LIFEBOAT ON THE TITANIC, however, I am the foremost DIET HUMOR collector in the world. My area of expertise is collecting DIET HUMOR, not publishing.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

 
COPYRIGHT by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis" ("Rare Bird").

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Please note:
No one can even come close to duplicating Daniel L. Worona’s 55-year plus DIET HUMOR collection.

It is a ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!!!

More than 250,000 DIET HUMOR SAYINGS


COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: If any of these diet humor sayings and/or images are in breach of copyright, I will willingly remove them and/or give proper credit.

NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT:
If you borrow from this DIET HUMOR Web site, at least have the decency to give DANIEL L. WORONA his due credit.

You may borrow up to a maximum of fifteen (15) sayings from Daniel L. Worona’s DIET HUMOR Web site for your Web site PROVIDED you attach an active link back to this Web site: (danworona.50megs.com).
WARNING: If you steal Daniel Worona's DIET HUMOR material, you will be hexed with a BIG FAT CURSE!!!

If you are repeating a DIET HUMOR SAYING from this website, give me credit.
IT'S ONLY FAIR.



THANK YOU VERY MUCH: I thank all the kind people out there in cyberspace who have been giving me credit when when they use material from this DIET HUMOR Web site.

Daniel Worona


WARNING!!!: For those who continue to steal from this DIET HUMOR Web site without giving Daniel Worona proper credit, you will be bombarded with CALORIE BOMBS, GUT BOMBS and FAT BOMBS.

BAD KARMA WILL GET YA!!!  (JUST YOU "WEIGHT"!!!)


LEGAL NOTICE:


NOTE: Any material and/or DIET HUMOR you borrow from this Web site (danworona.50megs.com) may only be used for "NON-COMMERCIAL" purposes.

Thank you very much,

Daniel l. Worona


FUNNY FAT DEFINITION:

UNHEALTHY: What thin people call you when you are fat and fat people call you when you are thin.

OVEREATING & EATING DISORDER QUOTES:

I have no idea how much I weigh because I can't weigh myself naked. Without my glasses I can't see the scale.

I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.


PLASTIC SURGERY JOKES:

"Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills."

Dolly Parton

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso."

Rita Rudner


BIG FAT TRUTH JOKE:

YO MAMA IS SO FAT, SHE HAD A HEART ATTACK AND DIED.

PLEASE NOTE: My FAT JOKES are meant to encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle. This is not a "mean" DIET HUMOR website.

PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, rather, my goal is to encourage everyone to live a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!!! 

Obesity guru Daniel L. Worona


Wanted: FUNNY FAT ONE-LINERS, FAT JOKES, FAT HUMOR, FAT LIMERICKS, FAT POEMS, FAT RIDDLES, FAT PUNS, FAT DEFINITIONS, FAT FITNESS JOKES, FAT SATIRE, FAT PARODY, FAT SPOOFS, FAT COMEDY, FAT COMEDIAN JOKES. You get the message. Please e-mail me.

FAT COMEDY: Who are your favorite "fat comedians"? E-mail me.


To all my ¨calorie challenged¨ friends:

I apologize if I offended you in any weigh, shape, or form.

Daniel L. Worona

(This "APOLOGY" is copyright of Daniel L. Worona)

PLEASE NOTE: My FAT JOKES are meant to encourage you to live a healthy lifestyle. This is not a "mean" DIET HUMOR website.

PLEASE NOTE: It is NOT my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, rather, my goal is to encourage everyone to live a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!!! 

TO BELITTLE IS TO BE LITTLE.



WORST-CASE SCENARIO:

DIET HUMOR WEBSITE: danworona.50megs.com  

If for some reason my lifelong collection of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR & DIET JOKES is never published, it will probably end up in a trash can.
 

Who loses?   Not me!   YOU DO!!! BIG-TIME!!!

Why? Because I have had a ton of fun and a ton of laughs collecting it.
Do you want to enjoy my more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR sayings collection?

You will when I am published!!!



SEEKING LITERARY AGENT AND PUBLISHER: Please e-mail me if you can help. 

MY E-MAIL ADDRESS:

Yes, I will read your e-mail and diet jokes if you include the words DIET HUMOR in the Subject line of your e-mail, otherwise it will be deleted and unread.

Please use your regular e-mail service to e-mail me at: dworona@yahoo.com.

LAUGH IT OFF DIET.

IT'S A FUNNY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

COPYRIGHT 1949-2014 by DANIEL L. WORONA "Rara Avis"

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

This is a 55-year plus collection and compilation of more than 250,000 DIET HUMOR sayings.

IT IS A ONE-OF-A-KIND COLLECTION!